TL;DR Despite having lots of experience in dating and sex, I still want to go back to doing cold approaches. So, I'm looking for a small group of like-minded guys who actively go out and share their experiences. Do you know of a group I can join? Or would anyone be interested if I started one?

Brief background: I'm 35, around 5'5', average looks, pacific islander/asian.

The first time I kissed a girl was when I was 10. I got laid for the first time ever when I was 14, and I experienced having same-room sex with 4-5 teenage couples during the same year.

Then, I slept with different girls occasionally in my social circles through the ages 18 - 25.

Turned a girl who literally lives thousands of miles from me (she's from the UK and I'm from Southeast Asia) to become my girlfriend, and she eventually went to my country, then I went to hers, all expenses paid.

I'd like to think I'm what people call a 'natural' to a certain degree.

I realize I sound like a bragging asshole, but I want to make a point. I did not know that 'game' exists until I was 28 when I read the book "The Game."

This was my entry point to this journey. And when I read it, I was shocked to discover things I wasn't doing right and the reasons why they were ineffective, and more importantly, I got excited to know that there's a way to actually get girls that I want. So, I went down the rabbit hole.

(FYI: That book is still a good read and highly entertaining. Neil Strauss's writing and storytelling skills are insane. But I wouldn't apply the tactics taught there since they're kind of outdated and don't help build true confidence. In my opinion, Mark Manson's "Models" is the standard since it's a holistic approach to becoming an attractive man.)

See, despite having lots of experience, I've only slept with girls within my social circle. (Except for the UK girl, and the French girl I met through Couchsurfing just right before I read The Game.)

Which means, I didn't have to do cold approach because girls got introduced to me by a common friend or we met up at a friend's party.

The problem was that I was limited by the people I hung out with (e.g., the quality of the girls I met). And the more I get old, the fewer friends I hang out with since most of them have families now. And guys who don't have one would rather drink or go to a strip club.

Now, after learning game, I was able to do cold approaches and had some success with strangers (instead of girls in my social circle). This lasted for just 1-2 years.

But I got into a relationship. And the learning stopped. However, it eventually led me into another realm: Swinging. You know, threesomes, foursomes, couple swaps, orgies.

But after experiencing all those things, I still wanted to get back to doing cold approach. Mainly for two reasons:

  1. The skills I will learn doing it will help me solve some of my biggest problems, and most of them will transfer over to other aspects of my life and my career (e.g., boundaries, self-discipline, vulnerability, assertiveness, leadership, social skills, etc.)
  2. I want to meet women I like, my 9s and 10s (excuse the rating), from different countries, since I want to travel. In other words, I want to intentionally go through what women call their "hoe phase." So I won't have the urge to do this if I ever settle down.

While I can definitely do this alone, I know that I'd be able to learn faster if I'm in a group of small, intimate, like-minded people who actively share successes (and failures) and help each other out.

Do y'all know a (free) group that I can join? If not, would anyone be interested in joining if I start one?

Ideally, we'll be :

  • focus on sticking points that we want to work on
  • sharing experiences (both the good and bad) to learn from each other
  • having some sort of accountability to encourage each other to push even on days we don't feel like going out

Hit me up or comment if you're up for something like this.