I’ve been married since 2013 . I’m 35 wife 31 . We have a total of 7 kids. Not all bio mine but I claim and love them all I make the distinction because I’m having issues with some parts of this relationship and when I voice my displeasure it’s met with resistance and I don’t understand why.

We moved to be closer to her family to maybe have help with the kids and for her to be a lil closer to her dad cool if that’s what she wants whatever .

I tried to recently say hey I know we are both working I’m working nights and she’s working days but I would like to be able to spend some time with you. Normally we are doing things with and for the kids and I don’t mind that but the time I would normally get now it’s spent with her trying to save the day for all her family issues mainly her older sister.

I say to her hey I know you love your sister but u shouldn’t leave work for problems she’s creating for herself. That’s taking money outta your pocket which ultimately takes it from me and the kids. She didn’t understand me . I said hey I ask you to do things with and for me and I get lip whining complaining whatever u ask me to do things for u and they get done. Your sister or anybody here asks you to do things you up and go so what’s up do u not want to do this anymore . She says yes she sorry I feel that way that was it no like I’ll do better let’s try this nothing .

So I’m like ok this ain’t gonna work for me . So I tell her I love her but I’m feeling like I’m like number 20 on a list and she number one on mine and I don’t like it. Give me that same energy u giving everybody else cuz this life right here not it . I can do this by myself and not have to deal with whatever her family got going on. Mainly drama . Drama that she jumps in every single time which drags me into it too and my kids even see the same things.

Seems like I see the problems coming a mile away. I’ll say hey this thing here is gonna be a problem later and she blow me off and later on it’s oh u we’re right but in the mean time it’s costed me time money or effort none of which I like to give to other peoples problems when I know they coulda been avoided . I’m venting but idk how to talk to her in a way that makes her understand I’m not saying don’t do anything for family but I am saying put me and the kids first. If that makes sense.