I don’t know what to do. I want to die, but I can’t do it because of my family.

You might have read stories about middle-class families, but have you ever read about lower-class families? I have written my story as shortly as I can.

My family consists of my brother, mother, younger brother (who is in 10th grade), and sister who is about to complete +2. I am 21 years old, and my elder brother is 23. I work as a videographer in a advertising company. I am a fresher, and my salary is 12k Indian money (140$)

My brother went to the Gulf as a student when he was 20. he spent all his earnings and sent back only enough to cover the family’s expenses.

My father (in my life mostly hated person) left us seven years ago (not because he passed away, but because he abandoned us). Since then, our family’s situation has worsened. My family and I have had to endure more than we could handle. While everyone else in the family owns their own house, we are the only ones still living in a run-down house that looks like it could collapse at any time. It would probably top the list of the worst houses in our hometown.

My father never provided us with what we needed. He didn’t buy us a house. He didn’t give us a proper education. My brother and I only completed +2. Although I went to college, I had to drop out after three months because financial struggles became unbearable. After that, I started working, saved some money, and studied videography( my passion). My elder brother completed +2 but couldn’t continue his studies due to financial difficulties. He had to work different jobs just to survive.

If you ask me about my biggest dream in life, I would say it is to have a small house for my family to live in. My mother always says, “I just want to live in my own house before I die.” She has suffered so much since birth—always struggling, always in poverty, never getting a chance to live a peaceful life.

I had two relationships in the past, but when they heard my story, they left me. They are right because no point in being with someone from such a poor family.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t have a house. My sister is about to complete +2 and is growing up. My younger brother will be in +1 next year. I feel like I’m going crazy. Even though my salary is 12k, after EMI and loan repayments, my expenses come to 20K. And if I add the loans we had to take just for household expenses, the total debt is overwhelming.

Iam Thinking about all this, I feel mentally exhausted. How can i start from zero?

Litterally iam living for my family . For my mom 🤍