I've friends, many friends. I'm a senior in high school by the way, and I have many acquaintances. I talk to a lot of people each day and socialize with those around me because, well, it's good and is necessary to be social to at least some extent in my mind.

I have a small group that I spend much time with and they are my closer friends I suppose. I've worked a bit to become friends with the whole group and now I'm close with them all (about 7 people), but I've realized that they aren't the type of people I want to surround myself with anymore. The one I'm closest to is popular, good looking, and not very smart. All the girls know him and he gets laid by a different girl weekly. Not that I care anymore. I think I valued what he has at some point which is why I worked so hard to get into this group, but I don't really care about the popular scene at school, anymore that is. It seems fucking stupid all of the sudden. The group gets fucked up every weekend, and are constantly doing stupid shit. Just a few weeks ago, I was in a car with them and they rolled the truck going off roading. Nobody was hurt, praise brodin. I don't really do things like off roading but I was with them and went with it. Yesterday, my good looking friend crashed into a curb and fucked his rims so he can't drive his car anymore. He was going 45 in a neighborhood. They're fucking stupid and I don't like hanging out with them anymore.

But they're my friends. I've actually spent time building connections with them so that I could be in with them, but now that I'm here I don't like it at all. I hang out with them every day at school and I do have fun times. They do have redeeming qualities, but I still have no warm feelings to the stupid decisions they make. It doesn't feel right to just drop them cold turkey, but still I'd like to avoid being with them and partaking in all the stupidity they do.

I also hung out with an old friend from before I got in with the 7 last night. My old friend is nerdy and kinda pathetic the more I think about him. We saw a movie and the only thing I could think was how bad I hated being around him. He's loud, obnoxious, and very annoying. He'd come get me in a car wreck the next state over though so he's not all bad I suppose.

Still, am I doomed to simply have no positive people in my life? Am I going to be forced to keep everyone just out of arms reach so I can avoid their bullshit? I don't like high school to be honest; I'd rather have a simple life where I see a few people and go about my business. Hell, I'd like to have a cot and just paint clouds all day (truly) haha. But life's not that simple. We have to get up and do shit to have shit.

This was mostly a rant, but if you've got any wisdom to drop, I'm all ears. Thanks.