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Responsible Men

smartyladyphd · 2025-07-24T07:36:17+00:00

If you run out of money after paying all your bills and taking care of your home, you're not broke. You're a responsible man....

smartyladyphd

July 24, 2025

24 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	Responsible Men
Author	smartyladyphd
Upvotes	24
Comments	14
Date	July 24, 2025 7:36 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1m7y1r1/responsible_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/responsible-men.1557934 https://theredarchive.com/post/1557934

Comments

[–]TrilIias -3 points-2 points-1 points 1 year ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]peter_venture 4 points5 points6 points 1 year ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]TrilIias -4 points-3 points-2 points 1 year ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]peter_venture 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]TrilIias -4 points-3 points-2 points 1 year ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]peter_venture 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]TrilIias -3 points-2 points-1 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]peter_venture 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]TrilIias -2 points-1 points0 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Here's the problem with all this, we really do have to be careful about what we focus on because MRAs do not have any control over the public narrative about us. We don't get to control which aspects of our advocacy is seen by the public, the feminists and trad cons do. So if we throw out a ton of arguments:

Non-consensual circumcision is a human rights violation.
Discrimination against men in the judicial system is a human rights violation.
Male conscription is a human rights violation.
The erasure of male victims of DV is a human rights violation.
Calling men without money "broke" is a human rights violation.

Well guess what, now the feminists are going to pick up on that last point and say "women are fighting for their reproductive rights, women are being raped, are facing systemic issues, while men are complaining about being called broke. Men have issues, but they don't really have serious systemic issues."

I've seen it a thousand times. There's a reason there's been so much focus on "the male loneliness epidemic," and it isn't to benefit men. It's to undermine men's issues and make it seem like "hey they really do care about men, it's just that there are more important gender issues that women are dealing with." If they can make "solving men's issues" about being called "broke" then they'll gladly do that so they can pretend to care, say they've paid their due lip service to men's issues, then dismiss them as frivolous. They'll be very happy to see OP helping their cause.

I have no interest in defending whichever women were disrespecting broke men, but MRAs need to not be drawn in by shiny things. Our detractors will always focus on our weakest arguments, so imagine if we took off that last bullet point I listed and feminists had to find the weakest argument of the remaining points to try to pick apart. Imagine if they were forced to talk about male conscription when criticizing the men's rights movement.

[–]peter_venture 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

All true things. Good points. But while women can complain about anything and everything, men are somehow supposed to concentrate only on the serious and most egregious things. Going online and relentlessly trolling on something not so serious and mostly not true (they're calling men broke because men aren't lavishing them with gifts, or spending $100 or more on a first date) is something men should ignore because there are more serious things to protest? No.

Men should be able to freely protest the sillier and less serious things done to us. They're called micro aggressions and we need to pay attention to those too. It shouldn't be normalized to dismiss a valid concern just because it isn't as hurtful. We shouldn't spend an inordinate amount of time on it, but here you were the only one doing that. Just allow others to do so if they wish. The infighting is what is most harmful.

[–]TrilIias1 point 1 year ago [recovered] | Copy Link

But while women can complain about anything and everything, men are somehow supposed to concentrate only on the serious and most egregious things.

Well yeah, that's how gynocentrism works. I'm not saying that's how it should be, I'm saying that's how it is for now. We can either tailor our advocacy based on some ideal world that we do not live in (and which wouldn't need our advocacy anyway), or we can adjust our strategies to suit our actual reality.

By the way, the reason feminists complain about petty nonsense like "sexist air conditioning" or "sexist string cheese packaging" (yes really! Some company put a female string cheese character on the low fat package and a male one on the normal package, so MISOGYNY!!) because they have nothing else to complain about. It's very often taken as a sign of having nothing serious to complain about once you resort to complaining about very minor first world problems.

something not so serious and mostly not true is something men should ignore because there are more serious things to protest? No.

I wrote 4 paragraphs explaining why the correct answer was yes, which you agreed were true things and good points, but now your only counter is "no?"

Men should be able to freely protest the sillier and less serious things done to us.

I will clarify though, I don't mind men complaining about silly women who say stupid things about men. I don't care what men say in general. I'm talking about MRAs. That's why I asked what this has to do with men's rights. If any man wants to point out the stupidity of a group of women he saw online, fine, someone probably needs to. But maybe don't do that under the heading of men's rights activism if it isn't actually relevant to men's rights.

They're called micro aggressions

You keep doing this. Feminists do it so we should do it too? I personally spend too much time criticizing feminism to want to resemble them in too many ways.

[–]peter_venture1 point 1 year ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You're reiterating that you think this doesn't belong to this sub because it's not serious enough for Mens Rights, that this somehow detracts from more serious issues.

You're wrong.

We don't need to razor focus on only the important or more serious issues. Mens Rights should be all encompassing and speak for any situation that affects men negatively. And this issue isn't as minor as you seem to think. The idea behind the 'men so broke' videos is that these men can't buy them things. Mens' only role in life is to provide for women. Take them to dinner, buy them nice things, treat them like princesses. Men are just a means to an end. Sounds pretty serious.

We don't need any gatekeepers dictating what is and isn't a serious enough subject for consideration. If men are negatively affected then the subject fits.

[–]TrilIias1 point 1 year ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You're reiterating that you think this doesn't belong to this sub because it's not serious enough for Mens Rights, that this somehow detracts from more serious issues.

Not just "somehow," I explained the exact mechanism by which this happens. I also clearly said that I don't think it should and I don't think it's a fair criticism of the MRM, but that doesn't mean it hasn't been convincing to other people. We need to be pragmatic about this.

You're wrong.

That's not what you said earlier. I think the exact words you used were: "All true things. Good points."

We don't need any gatekeepers dictating what is and isn't a serious enough subject for consideration.

Fine, then I hope you and OP will be pulling a double shift explaining to feminists that men do actually have serious issues to address as well. It's the least OP could do if he's going to so willingly walk into the trap feminists have laid out after being explicitly warned.

[–]peter_venture1 point 1 year ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You do have good points. There are more serious issues. But your conclusion is where You're Wrong.

We can protest more than the most egregious actions. In fact we should. It's that simple. We don't have to explain this to feminists or anyone else. We don't need any gatekeepers. Very importantly, on this sub any man should be able to raise any issue just so other men are aware. Letting others know how pervasive the micro aggressions are is important.

We shouldn't be afraid to mention things because feminists may think they aren't enough. Your arguments that certain things shouldn't be mentioned is ill informed and where you're wrong.

I'm done explaining that men have a right to talk about any issue facing men in a Mens Rights forum. Just ignore the posts that don't meet your standards. Others may gain knowledge, even if it isn't earth shattering.