I (27M) had a 2 hour conversation/mini argument with my close friend "K" (30F) over the phone as we live across the country from each other. We initially spoke to just catch up.

To try and get right into it, I feel like we were speaking past each other towards the end of the convo.

I've been in school for a LONG time, going on 8 years consistently between cc and uni, and as I've gotten older I've become insecure with my age. Keep in mind I've been working through school throughout this time, so no: dorm life, greek life, parties, clubs, etc. Even though I am coming up on my final semester of school and about to begin student teaching, this past semester, I was still required to take an entry level course which had me in class with a bunch of freshmen. It was a yoga class. And I've been single for like 2 years. And no I wasn't planning on dating any of them but being single for awhile coupled with my insecurity about my age and the crushes I had on a few classmates, made me frustrated and confused.

During this time also, I transfered job locations in order to accommodate my class schedule and started working along side this 1 coworker "A" who's 19. We became friends pretty quickly A and I, and our friendship reminded me a lot of my friendship with K. From the same sense of humor to going on outings to playful teasing to (and this is the important part) having a crush on both of them. My crush on K eventually turned into a deep friendship over the last 7 years and is something I don't want to lose while my crush on A is a more typical friend crush, as we've only known each other 5 months. But in those 5 months we've done a lot from: going to haunted houses, to roller skating, to getting food, etc. A has even invited me over to her place a few times where we've taken shots together and celebrated Thanksgiving. A and I text each other pretty often too. Most recently, when I came over to her place to give her mom a birthday gift A invited me into her room to hang for a bit and when her best friend came over later she said, "Cringe Expert, you know we don't just invite anyone into our rooms so don't be weird about it." I took the comment to mean that she (A) trusts me in her spaces which I appreciated. Especially given the realities that women go through.

Throughout it all Im mentioning this to K, because she's my Best friend and I tell her everything, and she didn't like it. Not out of some jealousy that I'm replacing her or anything, but because of the age gap. Every time I'd mention A to K, K would be like, "Oh, you mean the child? Oh, you mean the little girl?" or other variants of that. I took it more sarcastically but over time realized that she didn't like me being friends with her. K has had a rough life where both her and her son have been sexually abused, so she doesn't take vulnerable situations or power dynamics lightly.

Recently I got the courage to ask A if she'd be open to being more than friends as our friendship has deepened to which she shot me down, which sucks but we are still friends. I told this to K and when I expressed my frustration with my singleness and how I feel like college is robbing me of time to date and how I feel like I wasted my 20s and regret going to college she went on a rant about how I've changed for the worst these past few years since going full-time at university. Saying that she's now uncomfortable with me wanting to go be secondary teacher while I'm attracted to "children" in her words. Repeatedly saying, "she's a child", a child and you want to teach girls not much older than her? She looks 16"

I tried getting across to K that I don't like having a crush on A or other freshmen or sophomores in my classes. That I don't have a "thing" for younger girls and am still attracted to women around my age. And how my frustration to this whole situation is why I regret coming to university in the first place, where they keep finding ways to exploit me and putting me in useless classes that so happen to be entry level, even though I don't think I need them at all. She said that that was a cop-out and that I need to get this "creepy attraction" under control or else she wouldn't feel comfortable with me being a high school or middle school teacher. Then gave some anecdote about she was once attracted to this person but after finding out that he was 22 she immediately lost attraction and felt gross the rest of the day. I wanted to tell her that it's not at easy for me, but felt like it would just leave to more arguing. We left the conversation there.

Now I'm left feeling confused, frustrated, and a little offended. I tried opening to my best friend and they made it into where I'm some sort of creep. Am I right to be upset?

Tldr: I’m a 27M who’s been in college for ~8 years while working full-time, and I’ve grown insecure about my age, being single, and feeling like school has delayed my life. This semester I ended up in entry-level classes with much younger students and also became close friends with a 19F coworker. I developed a mild crush, asked her out, got rejected, and we stayed friends. When I told my longtime best friend K (30F), she strongly disapproved because of the age gap and repeatedly referred to the coworker as a “child,” tying it to concerns about power dynamics and my plan to become a teacher. The conversation escalated into K accusing me of having a “creepy attraction” to younger girls and saying she’d be uncomfortable with me teaching, despite me explaining that I don’t want these crushes, don’t seek out younger women, and am still attracted to women my age. Now I feel hurt, confused, and judged for opening up. Am I wrong to feel upset?