Life is hard. But we have been given love and lovemaking by God the Creator as one of the consolations of life. A light in the dark sea of life.

By that logic, love, lovemaking and seduction is supposed to be fun, exciting, enjoyable. It is supposed to help create memories that warm your heart and bring you joy and laughter when you remember the experience as a memory especially when you are older.

Even when love is uncomfortable in that moment. The arguments, the late nights wondering what your lover is doing. The small things about your lover that irritate you. The jealousies. The fear. The slip ups. All of these things contribute to the beauty of love.

Note - I am not saying stay in an abusive relationship or tolerate abuse from a lover. No. If the bad times of the relationship are not counterweighted by good memories and being uplifted by your lover then you are in an abusive relationship.

Which brings me to the next point.

Love, lovemaking and seduction is about what you can give first and foremost.

Most people learn seduction to see what they can get or take from the other person but it's always about what you can give to fulfill their needs to make their experience of love and lovemaking spectacular.

This does not mean you don't care about what you want only that if your primary intention, first and foremost, is to get what you want -- you won't be very successful when it comes to seduction.

The best seducers - at least from what I have read - Casanova, Don Juan, Valmont. Yes, they want sex. But they are more focused on giving their partner an incredible experience and fulfilling the needs of their female partners. Even when they don't get it and they are angry about it, it's that experience that they value more.

When you read Casanova, you are like this dude is insane 😂 but the thing you are never in doubt of is the fact that he will go above and beyond for the person that he is seducing. Women absolutely loved him - from Italy to France to Bohemia.

Modern Dating today has become a competition. Guys want sex. Women want relationships or whatever they want from the guy without making a simple effort in the relationship.

I am not saying don't care for what you want or don't be upfront about what you want and create boundaries to honestly get what you want. But you will have more success in dating if you focus more on giving to your partner whatever it is they need or whatever they need to have an amazing loving experience.

So guys, just be the guy and pay for the dates. Be actual friends with women (I don't know where this thing came from that being friends with women is a bad thing) Learn how to flirt. Give her attention and feed her feminine heart. Learn lovemaking. Don't jump straight to the sex. Let it build in a way that she is comfortable with. Even if you don't have sex. Women talk. She will hype you up to her friends and other women.

So ladies, be feminine. Sometimes guys need a woman to just make them a sandwich or to tell them how much of a man they are. Compliment the guys in your life. Feed their masculine heart. Even if you are the strongest MMA fighter on planet Earth, give your guy a pickle jar to open and tell him how you would be lost as a woman without your strong sexy guy 😂 logically the guy will say this woman is messing with me. But trust me, deep down inside, he will be on cloud nine and remember it all of the days of this life.

I used to know a lady in my Uni days who was slightly overweight, extremely bookish. More of a Velma than a Daphne. Guys used to chase the tens, she was more of a five - not someone the guys traditionally chased. But she was incredibly popular with the guys because she knew how to feed the masculine heart. Guys loved her. They actually wanted to spend time with her and her dorm room became a popular hang out for all guys. And she wasn't trying to be a pick me either. She was extremely popular with the girls too. She just understood how guys worked. She had put in the effort to figure that out. It makes me laugh now when I think about it, guys would chase the hot girls but wouldn't want to spend a day with them in their dorms to just genuinely hang out. But this lady, they were actually happy to hang out with her, have conversations, chill out. She could pick and choose whomever she wanted as a lover. She gamed the system 😂

Guys and ladies, respect one another. That is the foundation of everything. Just respect one another. Yes, know what you want to get but who you are as a person is more important. And respect towards others is the foundation of that.

This is what I have learnt.

What do you think?