Here is something perspective that might help you with that person who is confusing you... We'all been there... A man or woman who is hot and cold, who sometimes seems all over you and other times she acts like you don't exist or she acts always hot, but when it comes to escalating things there is usually an obstacle that prevents it and you wonder: "what the heck does this person want? Am i wasting my time or what?""

Well, i have recently been sort of enlightened lol! I realized that mixed signals aren't actually a riddle for you to decode with enough effort, intuition, or reading between the lines. Cuz treating it like a puzzle only leads to one sided over-investment, anxiety, resentment and eroded self-respect while you chase breadcrumbs. And who wants to be a breadcrumber when given the choice? Not me that's for sure.

It only leads to overthinking, which is that they are trying to interpret things based on stories they are telling themselves. Different women and men can do the exact same behaviors and say similar things and yet their intentions or goals can still be completely different because people are not computers where you can attach consistently certain inputs to certain outputs.

So the solution to mixed signals is not to read between the lines or read minds or to make guesses according to what other people think it mean... Instead!!! the solution is to know what you want, express what you want clearly and explicitly... Aaaand the most important thing of all, to know what is the only answer you will accept from them after expressing what you want.

The last one is crucial. If you want the answer from the other person to be "fuck yes, i want what you want, let's do it now, im available"... you don't settle for "maybes", or "i'm busy now, but ill let you know" messages, or "rescheduling" messages" or inconsistency or vague attitude about plans.

You only accept a "fuck yes" where things just happen the exact way that you want them to happen.

If a person is giving you "maybes" or "almosts", then you move on, not because you interpret they are not interested, but rather because even if it's true that they are interested, you don't settle for less than a an "absolute yes" and you know what that looks like because it means everything is happening effortlessly without obstacles or difficulties.

So you are not moving on because they don't like you, you move on because they don't live up to your standards of investment even if they like you. You simply move on because you know you deserve better. That's it.

That way their mixed signals are no longer a puzzle to decipher, they become a deal breaker and that's why you lose interest despite the other person liking you. It's basically recognizing "that person who likes me is not good enough for me because their behavior does not match my standards".

And i hey!! i get it! If you really like that person this might be hard, you might think "i have to have hope because that's the one i really like", but that's just scarcity mentality and you teaching them that to be with you it doesn't require them to put their best effort, because you will tolerate any crap that they give you, just to be with them.

And what kind of relationship can you expect is that the pattern you teach them? A shitty one where your needs are never met even if she is becomes your official partner.

So i believe it's better to stop chasing breadcrumbs and negotiating for scraps cuz when you negotiate for scraps and breadcrumbs... Then, scraps and breadcrumbs is all you will get.

If you don't agree, that's ok, but maybe it will help you to think of this problem with a different mindset.