So a history...when I was younger I was great with women. Basically I didn't give a damn, talked to many, felt very little remorse when a relationship came to an end and just moved onto the next one. The relationships I did have were great for the most part, I was in charge and I was always the one to end it when things got shit.

Then I got into a long term relationship for three years. I was dominant and she did the chasing. After a bit of an argument over her becoming extremely needy and explosions of jealousy, I ended the relationship. Please note that I was never unfaithful and never gave any indication that the relationship wasn't something I wanted.

So we split up and there is a period of time where she's still messaging me and I start to meet other girls. Then things go quiet for a few months. She messages me one day about a holiday that we had to cancel because we split up. I should have ignored it but we got chatting and eventually met up and started seeing each other again.

Then things got shit. I was filled with guilt and remorse over the break up and became a needy try hard. I found out she had seen other guys (shouldn't have bothered me seeing as I saw other girls) while we were split and combined with her being distant and not too bothered during our 'rekindling' I made every attempt to lock her down. My ego was truly bruised. It was our first year of uni with lots of sex ops so this added to the pressure and i literally tried to be nice guy and always got butthurt over the stupidest things. It ended grimly with me pathetically panic checking her phone while she was in the shower and finding out she had been fucking at least one other guy. Needless to say we failed to stay together and I eventually moved on.

There was a period of messing about and I felt like I was getting back to normal. Then I meet my next long term gf. Starts out fine but a year or so in she eventually ends up being the dominant one. When I would do something 'wrong' or she got jealous over someone I was talking to, she would pull out the 'let's break up' card and I would fall for it. Begging and chasing every time. Saying I'm sorry and asking for her back. We move in together and things get pretty bad...constant arguing, phones being thrown at me and doors slammed in my face. Not once did I say lets end it and all I did was try to save what shitty relationship we had. Things eventually got worse and she walked out. I then finally grew a pair of balls and said don't come back.

She then starts asking for me back after periods of radio silence. We meet up for sex (bad move on my part) partly down to me still feeling needy and her figuring out I wasn't begging for her back. I then start to play the field again and finally end the whole casual sex thing with the ex, realizing it's just asking for trouble.

I meet up with a couple of girls, sex and hanging out. Once again, feeling better. When one gets too needy or I feel like they aren't what I want then I have no guilty conscience moving on. Then I meet the current GF and it all goes to shit again (obviously I don't learn from my mistakes).

She's a great girl, my type, sex is awesome and we have a chemistry I hadn't felt in years. She has a kid and apparently things were amicable between her and her ex. I was wrong. After two months or so of us seeing each other, the ex finds out she's got a new man in her life. He rocks up and flat out asks for her back.

Immediately there's a viable threat there. She doesn't get back with him but straight away I can see there are cracks of doubt, after all this was her chance to get her family back together.

So instead of reacting to this calmly and cool like...I revert back to panic mode and I white knight the shit out of her. Tidying her house when I'm over, buying her flowers, messaging her often, calling her. I actually even started back at the gym and shed 2.5 stone and am looking damn fine. Basically back to needy mode...trying to almost sell myself as perfect nice guy.

8 months later and I'm still in said relationship however things have changed. The sex is a lot lot less, she hardly seems excited to see me, there's little affection from her and has even said things like 'you're a nice guy'. 'I like manly men' and 'I don't worry when you go out...you aren't that type of person'. To me these are massive warning signs, along with the fact that I am becoming paranoid and anxious when she doesn't message back or that I dwell over every sentence I say to her etc. When she jumps I say how high and agree with everything she says or does trying to keep the peace.

I recognized that I am just repeating the same mistakes over and over again when I become threatened. Trying to constantly fix things the wrong way. I'm not sure whether this current relationship is a lost cause or if there is room to change. I've read some of the reading material on here but sometimes it's just great to vent. I don't want to spend this relationship chasing and, even though we have been together 8 months, the honeymoon period should not have ended that quickly and surely she should be showing a lot more interest than she does. I'm basically boring and my self confidences is shot.

I know I can be alpha but then a switch flicks and I'm back to nice guy trying to please her instead of myself. It's starting to mess with my head and I was directed here. I know it's a long post but any advice would be awesome.