i moved to europe a year ago and was introduced to trp by my friend, after i had become extremely depressed about not getting women etc. Here are the problems i face now- 1 I just hate change. I want to change my life and i know i can make a quick effort to change it but i loathe the rapidity with with which change happens. If i wake up 2 pm, the next day, to improve, i try to wake up at 1:30 pm as in my mind i have convinced myself that waking earlier than that wouldnt help me out and i wouldnt lear my lesson. However, inside my heart, i know that i can easliy wake up at 8 am like the others. I just fear things going too fast.

2 I hate my home country and want to make an effort of not going back. People here talk about abundance mentality, but i feel like eventually i would have to go back to my home country so wouldnt be meeting amazing people like i met in europe. i become too invested with women and friends and fantasise throughout the day, about making the girl i just met, my girlfriend. As i said, i feel so fucked up due to the people i have met in my home country and the rejections that i faced there. Thankfully, i am better off than all the people back in my high school back in south asia as i found amazing people who helped me achieve a lot. I JUST dont want to go back though.

3 i get some women at the clubs but i feel like i am not wired to let go. For example, there is this girl in my class who has a boyfriend back in her home country. I think she likes me but i am too pussy to make any moves as i dont want to ruin our friendship. We have shared a lot of enjoyable moments together.

4 i have started exercising and am also trying to take out time for cooking and socialising. i have an awesome friend circle, but after my phase of self improvement, i just dont feel like they are the people i should be around anymore. Did this happen to anyone here?

5 i have been trampled over by women a lot of times. Many of them have led me on and rejected me, a year after i thought they liked me. That has taken a really bad toll on my life and i have suffered from depression and anxiety for a lot of years. I am also not truly invested in the subjects that i am studying right now and the only thing that crosses my mind is how to party everyday and get women. i know that is not the way to go about it but i just cant find where my interests lie. i have worked really hard to stay away from all the negative people from my country with defeatist attitudes and i feel like if i dont hang out with my friends here everyday, they will forget about me. i also feel like proving wrong the people who have hurt me in the past. This places tremendous pressure on me and instead of facing the challenges, i just lie in bed and feel miserable.

As the sidebar says, "betas are afraid of rapid change". i feel like i am that sort of a beta but frankly, i am too tired of making slow changes in my life. I just want to start kicking ass from tomorrow and work hard in the positive direction but am tired of the people telling me to take one step at a time. That one step at a time philosophy is not working out. what do you guys think?