I don't want to. I've tried every trick I can think of. We are talking about something and she looks at her phone, I think bet its him. She hugs me, I think she wishes it was him. Every free second I have my brain thinks why him?

I messed up tonight and got in a minor car accident. I bet she's calling him right now to laugh at me.

How do I make it stop? I can't get away from her, we have to much going on. I can't do what the responses to my other post said and hate her. I'm not doing the pick me dance. I'm just trying to be me for myself. I still hope that maybe just maybe she'll choose to come back and we can work on this but I'mworking on letting that go. I'm trying to be okay with the anger and disappointment and everything else. What is this?

My mental health is completely shot. I have no other friends to call. So reddit go ahead and beat me up again.