Discussion | Gaydar

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April 28, 2014

In an attempt to get some people to come out of the wood work, lets talk about gaydar. What do you look for? What are the usual signs that you like to use to asses if a man is gay? Or, on the flip side, what signals do you use?

Type of drink is a big tip off for me. Beer is a way of life here and anyone caught drinking wine must have something going on.

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Title Discussion | Gaydar
Upvotes 9
Comments 6
Date 28 April 2014 06:07 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit altTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/163334
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/altTRP/comments/247dqx/discussion_gaydar/
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[–]therationalqueer2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm sorry, what's wrong with wine? It's not like it's a cosmo. A solid cab is way more "masc" than a corona, imho.

But back on topic, my gaydar focuses primarily on what my target is looking at. If you really want to be a pro, march a blonde bombshell and a shirtless jock past him and see who he stares it.

[–]Bearlyred1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm just imagining how the conversation would go down. "Excuse me miss, sir, can I have you saunter on by that fellow there. I'm trying to determine where is loyalties lay".

[–]KBApprentice1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Gaydar for me is a combination of clues, not a singular one. There's positive indicators, and negative indicators. Let's start easy, work our way down.

The obvious Positive Indicators: Heavily flamboyant, or talking about that guy he slept with.

The obvious Negative Indicators: Any time the topic of gay sex or liking a dude more then as friends comes up, instant rapport break or anal clenching. Being heavily involved in christian environment is another one.

The bit more subtle Positive ones: He's checking out male behinds. He hasn't talked about banging this chick, or wanting to sleep with that one. He hasn't checked out any female behinds.

The bit more subtle Negative ones: Same as obvious negative ones, just less pronounced.

The very subtle but cute Positive ones: Checking out a guy, then being embarrassed or acting like you were daydreaming. No hun, I saw you looking at his glutes. How do I know? I was checking them out myself.

Conversations about nightlife having minor pauses. This doesn't apply to flaming, do me now guy. It does apply to the more shy person, who's talking in halted tones about their evening or a funny story. Very similar to explaining an old person about technology. You're not sure how much they'll understand, if they'll like what they hear, or if they will violently berate and shame. Sometimes turns right into, oh good, you're alright with the alternative sex stuff, let me remove my filter and tell you this fisting story that happened to my friend.

And lastly, though not anything you can learn online, it's behaviour over all.

Social intelligence is the appropriate term for it, really. After a while you see culminating behaviours that show you he likes this guy, or acts in a certain way that implies this. Be aware, and you will pick up on it more and more.

[–]RustyGuns1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You forgot a huge one, eye contact.

[–]narcissus880 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I've never, ever met a gay guy who didn't act effeminate or off in some way.

BUT...it's becoming harder to tell them apart from the legions of SWPL "straight" guys who act so effeminate now too.

So I've met many "straight" guys who act gay, but never met a gay who didn't act it in some way.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I promise you, you have met gay men who acted perfectly straight. The only reason you don't know it is because they acted perfectly straight.

It is possible in the context of places where men are looking to meet other people, they might be attempting to act more gay.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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