I really need your help. It seems like every problem i have today relating to woman seem like a consequence of these traumas.

First one. Is actually the only thing i remember from my earlier childhood. I think i was 7 or 8, and the memory is me with a girl, that was the daughter of a maid that was working in my house. I was with her, kissing under the bed until my brother caught us, he threatened to tell the maid, as he blackmailled me for something. He was 14 at that time. I dont remember the rest.

Second one. I was between 11 or 12, me and my cousin found some porn dvd's from her dad and it went from that. We used to make "sex" with clothes on. That went for a long time, beside from what we was doing, we were very innocent. One day our grandpa caught us. As he catch us he threatens to tell my parents, i Just ran, and locked myself up in a room, crying.

Now i have an unconscious feeling that sex is bad. I feel like i have no desire for women, and If do, it is somehow wrong.

That seems like It messed everything in my sexuality. If someone can help i would really apreciate you for it.

PS: im 17