I feel anxious around people of authority

[deleted] · 2017-01-14T14:16:29+00:00

Why do you think you feel this way? The men (sales men) coming around honestly don't give a fuck about you and are just doing their job. They aren't being authoritative they're just regurgitating scripts they have written trying to sell a product.

If you see a salesman you just open the door and determine what he is selling and then tell him you're sorry but you're not interested and good luck.

My advice is that you don't have to be in control or confront anyone if you deflect the situation. Salesmen are very communicatively aggressive which might be where some anxiety comes in because they are trained to try to convince you not to say no and send them away. It could also be because this interaction is happening on "private" ground rather than "public" ground like a mall.

I did used to feel this way when I was younger, I would hear the doorbell and look out the window and not answer it and feel anxious.

Galadriel26 · 2017-01-14T02:43:43+00:00

As I am new to RPW I don't know if my advice is the best, but the reason I'm here was also because of the assertiveness tips in the sidebar and I like them.

As for what you should do. I think it's good to have respect for everyone and I think we all feel a bit anxious around people of authority. That is normal because we know that if we f**k up it can have consequences. They are powerful. If you accidentally insult the president, it will have other consequences than if you accidentally insult the washing lady. It is human nature and a survival mechanism to be anxious.

And, if you disagree with a person of power, who might be highly educated on his field, will he or other people think you are stupid? This is also food for anxious thoughts, and sometimes it is reasonable to agree with the, but other times not!

In your case you are so anxious that salesmen can take advantage of you. That is not okay! You need to do something about this, so you're not fooled into doing stupid things. Read up on assertiveness, yes.

You should remember that you are the queen of your household. Not them. They have no authority over what you choose to buy or how you live. I do not know if you are married, but if you are, think "I only answer to my captain/SO." Say you will leave the decision of what to buy to your husband to buy you some time to think. Or to someone else. Anyhow you can think "His opinion of me does not mean anything for my life."

Also, think of the consequences of your choice, rather than trying to impress them by being submissive. Because, no matter what you do it will not impress them, they will most likely forget you in an instant.

I think a book was recommended here, "the subtle art of not giving a f***", I think the title was. It is on my reading list, might interest you too? :)

[deleted] · 2017-01-14T16:50:43+00:00

Its important for both men and women to be able to be assertive. You don't owe anyone the money you make, if they take money from you that you worked for and its not something you want or need, they took time away from your life. You can also be assertive and still be calm, and not rude, but you can only build that assertive muscle by having the situations that force you to be assertive and stand by your values and self-worth. Everyone is equal in being human, and that comes before any type of authority which is as made up as the English language, so you have to see yourself as having as much the right to be authoritative and assertive as anyone else with your time and money. You are the authority over your own life. Another thing that might help is knowing that you always have the ability to threaten calling the police or calling them if a situation warrants doing either of those things.

nonthaki · 2017-01-14T14:51:19+00:00

You feel you don't deserve happiness .

[deleted] · 2017-01-15T15:10:12+00:00

I don't know if I should work on assertiveness, or just accept my position.

Work on assertiveness. When I Say No, I Feel Guilty is a great book that is pretty much tailor-made for your exact situation. It basically gives you the exact toolkit you need to be better at these interactions without any kind of lofty abstractions.

Title	I feel anxious around people of authority
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	5
Date	January 14, 2017 12:40 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/5nui2s/i_feel_anxious_around_people_of_authority/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/i-feel-anxious-around-people-of-authority.167103 https://theredarchive.com/post/167103

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