I came across TRP almost exactly a month ago. A few nights of feverish reading were enough to accept that my 10 year LTR wasn't going to work out the way I thought.

I wrote a letter to my GF and handed it her two days before New Year's Eve. I packed my stuff and six hours later I was gone from her life. I haven't seen her since, but we still talk and she has accepted that our separation was the best thing for both of us.

I don't regret ending this LTR as I had killed off my attraction to her at least 4-5 years ago. I understand why she wasn't attracted to and felt no genuine desire for me. I accept responsibility for that. I was as beta as it gets. I put her on a pedestal so high it would have put the Romans to shame.

I understand the concept of female solipsism. I understand the concept of hypergamy. I understand the limitations of women when it comes to love, loyalty or appreciation. I understand that my beliefs about women, how they operate and how I was supposed to treat them were dead wrong. I understand that as a man, I will be on my own until the day I die, which was probably the most painful realization so far. In fact I'm still in the process of coming to terms with it.

Now here is the kicker. About a week ago I started to feel an intense hatred against women building up inside of me. I honestly feel disgusted by their nature. I find it truly appalling. I find it sickening to the stomach. I have never felt so genuinely disgusted by anything else in my life.

Take note that I among other jobs I work as a war correspondent. I have see men battle it out and kill each other. This is nothing compared to the sickness I feel when I think about women now and how their nature dictates their actions, etc. All I feel is a anger and a raw, intense hate, interspersed with genuine sickness.

I know this is irrational. I can't make women responsible for all the mistakes I made. I am not projecting any potential anger I may feel for my ex GF on other women, because there is none. We never argued much about anything the last few years, because our relationship was essentially dead. I do not harbor any resentment towards my ex and neither does she. We parted on good terms.

So I know I can't blame women for who they are. It's like being angry at a rattlesnake or scorpion for biting me. They do it because it's their nature and I need to accept that.

But what worth or value do women have then? Why should I invest time and energy into a any woman, knowing all her limitations? Is it really worth it?

Have any of you felt like this after swallowing TRP? If you got over it, how did you do it?

I know these feelings are irrational. But I just feel that way. At this point I am seriously questioning the value of women in general and so far my conclusion is, they are all utterly worthless and without value with the exception of serving as a potential sexual partner.

I don't know what to say anymore. I just needed to get that out of my system.

P.S.: If there are doubts about this story I'm willing to submit my website, LinkedIn profile etc. to a mod to prove I am who I say I am. I'm not a troll. This is a real issue.