Okay hi women. Maybe this is not a right place to ask for advice or something. So for 9 months I am with that amazing guy from my uni ( I'm from Eastern euro, studying in UK) and since we were separate for some time suiting corona chaos, he came to visit around. He was always my most wonderful male and beside the fact I was madly in love,ive had a lot of respect for majority of his life decisions. Yesterday I just went from flat for 30 minutes leaving him alone and he jerked off to porn. After 2 months not seeing me. And even leaving me without sex for few days which never happens when we are together. Prior to quarantine he never had a porn habit or anything like that, and that was one of the reasons that made him so special in my eyes. And I know that's not a big deal, I know everyone does it and all other things. But I have a freaking problem now, since I can't get over myself and have the same,deep respect and feeling of him being special of course its fine, he is sorry, I am overreacting, but i literally cannot get over myself. For me that was always such a miserable habit, and despite the fact I love the guy to the moon and back, and you know its so hard when you think that that special always better than other person is actually at the same level as most of the 4chan scum or any other contingent. Maybe that's just my idealisation of partner, but I really need advice how to Starr feeling near him as before, how do I lie in bed with him anymore without giggling or facepalnimg, how do I just return respect I had for him? I am really lost.