Been lurking awhile. Read the sidebar and some other websites. Internalized a lot of TRP principals.

Some backstory: I was in a LTR with a feminist which ended when I didn't want to marry her and for a bunch of other reasons including but not limited to I was beta/lesser version of myself. We were both really young when we met and I didn't know any better. I ignored our not so great sexual chemistry and other red flags because I was desperate to be in a relationship, and for a long time she was a loyal girlfriend and we were happy. Years passed we both change I come home from the gym one day she breaks up with me, moves out, takes our dog, doesn't talk to me anymore.

So I moved to a new country and went monk mode for awhile, was starting to be fine with being alone. I was working out all the time, playing music, reading, working, no time for girls. Things got a bit lonely so went on a dating app I met a girl we went out a few times, fucked her a few times, wasn't really feeling it though. It was nice to have someone to fuck and she bought me dinner a bunch of times. But I wasn't invested emotionally. After my LTR breakup I couldn't see myself being emotionally invested in a woman again, and I furiously stuck to my guns about I'm not going to care about any girl unless she totally submits herself to me. I don't need anyone. My routine is pretty good I work out furiously every day and have hobbies and personal goals and I read and shit. I'm not out chasing pussy but I see guys that are plating multiple girls and part of me is a little jealous but I would rather just avoid women entirely right now which sounds kind of gay but idk its just how I was feeling. I was so devastated after my breakup that I just wanted nothing to do with women because they are fickle and Machiavellian. I started getting this idea that the only way I would ever seriously be with someone again is if they lived up to my standards which I won't compromise on.

So anyway now I think I have oneitis and I don't know what to do. What happened is I'm living in a new country for a couple of months and I met this girl. When I met up with her at first I wasn't expecting to like her, I thought this is just for amusement I'm going to act red pilled as fuck and just make a huge joke out of it. But we actually had a really great time hanging out and then when I get her alone she wanted to wrestle me and then when I beat her she gets all submissive and shit its pretty dope. I've never had a girl be like that with me before, and now I kind of want her to be my girlfriend because I like her. Shes hot as fuck and has nice tits, and likes to play with my dick while we sit there and watch TV. Which is pretty goddamn rare from my experience with previous girlfriends, of which I've had a few. So this is pretty fucking stupid of me to want an LTR right? But the thing is I don't have any desire to get with anyone else since I've met her. Like right now I could easily fuck some strange, but I don't want to? Also I've stopped masturbating and watching porn not because I wanted to quit, but because I just kind of lost the inclination to do it since fucking her for the first time. I used to get off to porn 3-4 times a day sometimes because I have a crazy high sex drive, but now I would honestly rather just fuck her.

Before meeting this girl I was super angry about my ex LTR and borderline suicidal because I was so attached to her when it ended it felt like I had no reason to live. I dont have a family and she was my closest friend. So I had never dealt with a loss like that which kind of led me to this community searching for answers and all the side bar resources and it was the only thing I found peace in for awhile. After internalizing all that information I'm a lot more rational about how relationships work so I realize that theres probably an expiration date on this relationship, that she is likely using me for money and validation, and that she will branch swing when a guy with a bigger dick and wallet comes along. But I like her goddamn it. So what do I do? Just go ahead and fuck other women and try to get over her? Should I marry her if she signs a prenup? Do I just not say anything and try to just enjoy my time with her and not take it personally if she fucks someone or something?

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