A couple of years ago I sustained an injury which resulted in my erections being wobbly and only being able to get about 80 percent as hard. Also, I lose my erections very fast now while before I would stay hard even after busting and not even have a refractory period. I can still get hard enough to have sex.

I went through a phase of depression and transformation caused partly by the injury, self hatred, oneitis, and swallowing the red pill.

Now I am in a better place. After increasing my smv I dated some girls, got a girlfriend with many good qualities and lost my virginity despite my non fully hard dick. We have been together for a few months now in college and while I slip up sometimes, I am getting sex pretty much every day (even did anal) thanks to TRP knowledge.

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I sometimes go really soft during sex if not completely stimulated and one time during round 2, she still wouldn't cum and she commented that its more difficult during round 2 because I am softer when im in her. And another time I went soft during foreplay and she commented on my softness. I would say I make her cum around 75 percent of the time now.

It sometimes makes me feel like i'm not fully a man because my dick isn't working at 100 percent, it sucks. Especially when she insinuated my performance would be better if I was harder. She doesnt know I have an injury.

While I dont have much doubt I fuck her good despite my injury (I use the sex god method and she even has said our sex is so good while we do it), her commenting on my softness makes me consider having surgery to fix my dick back to normal. She has an n count of 1 before me.

The thing is, its a really particular injury which I would have to go overseas to to doctors who know about it to have it checked out and spend some time there. I previously told her I don't do long distance, so I don't know if this would be breaking my word/values in this case.

Also, If I were to go through with it, I feel I would have to tell her as I would have to wait some time for it to heal before fucking again.

I really want to get it fixed and get my hard erections back. Do I risk going for it and telling her?

I don't want her to see me as less of a man because of this.