The more I read TRP and take action, the more I learn about myself. I think I found my biggest problem with women and social life. If I manage to solve this problem, I think my life will be totally different in time.

I care too much about what people think and what I think of myself. I want to be a lizard or a dog and just jump around, do whatever that comes to my mind. Right now there is nothing comes to my mind, usually. I ALWAYS am conscious of what I am doing. I am also conscious of other people. I want to stop doing this, at least in certain occasions. I am always analyzing how I am behaving. I am always conscious of how I behave or seem to others. I am always on the lookout. I feel stressed to some level. This doesn't seem like something that is going to go away by practice. I vaguely remember my mother used to always compare me with other kids and she was always talking about what would others say. I'm telling this to explain you the root cause of the problem, not to whine.

I can't "be" and stay "still". I want to feel like 'I'm at my home and chilling' when I'm around other people. Right now I'm at the opposite end of the spectrum.

What would you suggest me? I mediate, lift, improve myself and started to take action more (doing this that I'm scared to do).

Before posting this, I watched and read relevant materials such as this and this. I understand what they are saying in theory, but I just do not get it.