I'm going to be blunt and honest. Girls are repelled by my looks and usually are either amenable, polite to me or look at me in disgust. The majority of girls however do not even bother giving me there attention even though I try hitting on anything that looks like a woman. I have tried adhering to some of the suggestions of TheRedPill such as dressing better (Spent about 1000 dollars on tailored clothes), Working out for 2 years ( amenable results except weight gain 58>78 kgs, trying to adjust my attitude to be more positive, confident and in TRP terms- more alpha. I've tried so hard to improve myself and my station of life in which currently I was studying STEM at University but dropped out. I'm Asian and my eyes are small and get mocked all the time and cannot see properly, therefore for medical reasons I'm getting surgery in my eyes. I have had braces, surgery on my nose ( so I can breath through it), red rashes in skin even though I wash the face cleanly and try to have a clean diet and slightly balding at the young age of 19. These symptoms suggests that I am a genetic defect and therefore shouldn't propagate because my genes are inferior. I have come to realise unless I hit the jackpot and be in the realms of a super-uber successful millionaire (unlikely) with six packs of abs (achievable) I am not going to get girls. Therefore due to my lack of success with girls- I have tried hitting on anything and the best method for provoking at least some attention from girls is by calling them "ugly". I feel pathetic that I have to stoop so low just to get a girls attention- not even trying to get laid here. I am writing this after almost religiously following TheRedPill for 2 years which I have tried everything in my control to improve my SMV. However, it feels like I'm stuck in a rutt. I hear guys getting "looks" from girls after working out for a year, or dressing better. All I get is nothing. Noone cares even though I try my best and try to be objectively better than the next guy. Furthermore I have recently being diagnosed with psychosis which causes hallucinations and for me to hear voices and therefore have to take medication which cuts down the job opportunities that I can have in life. At this point I feel like just working at McDonalds and getting a slut and just fucking it instead of trying so hard to improve my SMV and monk moding. Life feels like a rigged game where no matter how hard I try I cannot make it into the top 20 percent. Currently I would rate myself in the top 95 percent of guys. Just above the physically crippled or victims of physical assaults.

Theredpill; I'm trying to be objective here- what should I do in this situation. I just want to improve the quality of my life, however putting on this persona, this performance as a whole has not yielded much results therefore due to the low ROI feel like quitting. Guys my age who are average looking and dont even try hitting on girls get more pussy than me( I know this because I am friends with them). STEM degrees don't get pussy. As much as TRP advocates STEM; the majority of them are beta faggots who can't get girls or settle down quickly. I want to take centre stage in my life, I want to feel as I can get girls if I tried, but goddamit when reality hits you like a brick what can I do about it. I am not crying about how shit my life is or wanting sympathy. I'd like to know what I should objectively do to get past the unfavorable circumstances I have been put in. Not looking for quick solutions either.