So I know this lovely girl, but her best friend is infatuated with me. A and B respectively.

I get along very well with A, we have similar personal issues. She was always very flirty with me in public, smacking my butt, straddling me in front of people, and being physically playful; and yet quite shy in person. Does not shit-talk me in person or private. A genuine joy to be around. Loyal. She's like me in another shell, I don't know how to describe it. Amazing person. Did NOT start out as a "crush", we built each other's confidence.

B is depressive, hateful and a downer. Her views on life conflict with me. She frequently dismantles plans that A and I make with our friends. I heavily dislike her now. I can smell her desire to push me away from A, not that I need a sense of smell to tell; mid-conversation with A, B will interrupt and physically tap A to draw her attention away from me, for example.

I always hold my frame, and will either completely ignore B's attempt at attention-grabbing, or cut conversation and speak to another friend until they are apart.

Anyway, long story short, I get intimate with A and she is initially receptive, but then slowly gets more and more drawn into herself. So I stopped everything and told her to come with me and we'd talk about things. She said nothing was wrong with us having a relationship except that B disapproves.

Her lack of executive decision in her own life right then meant that I was throwing the world's darkest rage-fit on the inside; "who the fuck let's someone else tell them how to live their lives" I thought, but I politely mentioned how late it was, and that it would be better if she left, perhaps for good. The next day she's crying and comes over.

I've never been in a position where a girl is literally crying for my contact, and I think I died inside a bit from the instinctual sadness it induced, if you've never made a girl cry through direct action; you will shake a bit, it's like the countermeasure to maledom. I said it was fine, I wanted her to take executive action in her life next time, and that any sexual relationship between me and her would occur once it was no longer a three-person game. She agreed and we ended happily.

I think I fucked up there though, because B has not let the fuck up or gotten the fuck out, and it's been so long that A is now 'dating' this other dude, although she keeps telling me she doesn't know why.

Now I feel alone. I played the stoic part too well. Now I hate on the inside because of my actions. This was recent. I need advice, I'm an idiot who turned off his emotions to deal with a fragile situation, but I never learned how to get the girl back after I do it.

I ruined it I think. Now all my time goes to work and self-improvement. Although that's where it went in the first place, and the reason she was attracted to me.

But I think I friend-zoned her accidentally, and she's responded like a fucking professional red-pill and reduced her interest in kind, she once came to me about boy troubles, and I told her straight that "I'm not going to talk to you about this kind of shit, you know how things were, you were there", and she agreed, apologized, and stopped with that (gave up on the dude too). And I honestly don't believe it's because she has permanently reduced me, I think her train of thought is more like, "it's a lot safer to play friend-zone now than risk losing the connection with someone who 'could be someone great in the future'". (Just as likely I get hit by a fucking bus, but whatever)

Although it could be the case that she just cut all attraction for me. But then it could also be the case that she's trying to counter-manipulate me back into attraction with her, but I'm so fucking insanely dead inside sometimes because of medication, that I could look her in the eyes and tell her I burned an orphanage down and she'd believe me, so I think that I'm holding on a little too much that she thinks she has absolutely no power with me.

And I don't know how to fix this. I want her.

No running away either. Either I move forward and fix this situation, or I ruin it out of anger. All I want is advice.

With that said it's probably too late. Anyone else with something similar? Any really good actors here?

Yeah I'm pretty sure it's too late. Fuck my life, dudes. Just fuck it. I want to scratch my eyes out from the frustration of it all.