Hi TRP,

I'm making this post on a throwaway for all the default reasons. The main reason of this post is because I genuinely am lacking any sorts of relationships with females in my life. I feel like my libido is dead and something is wrong with me.

A year and a half ago, I had sexual relationships with two girls and I must admit I really enjoyed it. The problem was I was blue pill in every way possible and lost both of them (I guess I had two "plates?"). Anyway, the other reason I lost them was because my highly religious parents read through my phone with all my conversations with them which lead to me being grounded for a very long time.

Ever since then, I have lost trust in the world. I am very cautious when anyone gets close to me that they will fuck me over in an instant (my parents did just that). They are beginning to ask me why I dont have a girlfriend and they are too blind to see that they have ruined my perception of a healthy sexual relationship.

So this year, I've done everything possible to avoid females and only improve myself including: NoFap, guitar, TRP, lifting, studying hard (going go top 10 uni for my field in province), programming, working a part time job etc...

BUT! I simply cannot attract girls. I have to wear concealer makeup to cover up dark circles under my eyes, I have terrible acne, and these issues have lead me to have a terrible self image and im scared to meet up with anyone. I turn to porn, lifting and programming as my outlet (very two different things I know).

I feel like I'm fucking Nikola Tesla or something. When a girl texts me I either ignore them and continue working on my software projects or make an excuse that their not the "right one for me" and cut communication. I feel like I only care about my own personal life and will not let a female in under any circumstances.

There I basically said it all, all of this shit especially the episode last year and religious indonctrination REALLY fucked me up and I have no idea where to go from here in terms of rebuilding my confidence. Please give me some guidance, an indepth reply would be sincerely appreciated...