I've had so many sleepless nights over my high school oneitis. We hooked up for about a month. I fell like crazy for her and managed to screw everything up. She LJBF'd me and my world collapsed. I then began chasing her again after her friends told me that she liked me.

She would accept my invites then flake or outright say she had something else going on. I would make excuses for her disrespectful actions. I started seeing another girl, but she would sting me on with congratulatory messages when I didn't give her any attention. This gave me hope and kept me chasing for a whole semester.

I could never figure this girl out. Her friends would tell me I'm absolutely breaking her heart, but she would NEVER follow through with any plans. I called her out on it and she said she really does want to hang out, but she really has been busy and she can't apologize for that.

She kept stringing me on...she even told my friends I'm an asshole because I didn't handle her LJBF well with my angered reaction. After not hearing from her for a month I strung myself along and apologized to her for not handling the situation well. SHE NEVER RESPONDED.

Here I am 9 months after our first kiss crying my eyes out because I finally realized that I was just her ego boost. I'm so disgusted that somebody could do that to another person. And I feel like such an idiot for allowing myself to become her puppet. It just seems so cruel and it makes me hate the world, but it is what it is.

If anyone has advice for getting over a situation like this it is greatly appreciated. I'm trying very hard to work on myself and become a better person. Just had to get this rant off my chest.