Hiya guys,

I will TRY to make this as short as I can but it will still probably be pretty long.

I got absolutely decimated by a chick. We were friends, she fucked me over. Whatever. It was the wake up call I needed to get to TRP and I have been here ever since. I read a ton of shit and feel way different than I used to be.

2.5 months ago, I (27) started with the tried and true "fake it til you make it" and began acting "alpha". This girl(23) I was interested in literally jumped into my pants on one night when I was feeling particularly seductive and horny. She was single at the time. Awesome. This shit works great. I am awesome!

Fast forward to now. We hang out at least twice a week. I usually go to her house and she cooks dinner or we go out to dinner one weekday and then spend the night at one of our places on Friday, hang Saturday and then I have my Sunday's for me time.

Somewhere in the middle of all this, we became boyfriend and girlfriend. At least, I think we did? Here is where I am getting lost. We never had a conversation where we established what we were looking for in the relationship or what rules boundaries etc would be heeded. But she is telling her best friend (girl) about me and saying things to me like "She gave you the ok" and telling me that she told a close group of her friends that she was "seeing someone". Her parents even know about me. So from what I can tell, I am her boyfriend.

I am fine with this, TBH. She's a great gal. Enthusiastic, submissive and tries to make me feel good in all kinds of ways. I enjoy her company alot. What I am worried about is that I am not 100% sure of any of this. I don't know if she is being exclusive, I don't know if she thinks I am exclusive or what. and I don't know how to have the conversation without it coming across as "OMG I NEED YOU TO BE THE ONLY GIRL IN MY LIFE" etc. Advice?

For people who don't want to read that whole thing or who like reading and helping I have some slightly related questions:

  1. If the girl helps plan dates by picking venues and activities, is that bad or good? Am I supposed to make every decision about everything all the time?

  2. I am a naturally playful guy, I tease and poke and prod and generally like laughing and making others laugh. Does this contradict with "holding frame"?

  3. How do I stop over analyzing everything I do, say or think? Every single time I interact with this girl I run over the things in my head like "Oh I bet I fucked that up." "Could have done better here." "That was a good answer." "Why could she be acting this way?" I feel like its ruining the fun of it because I am constantly trying to find holes in her wool to reveal the wolf. Is this just what TRP does to you?

If you read all or any of this, you rock. Thanks for any feedback or advice.

TL;DR - How do you bring up the conversation of formally saying "You are my girlfriend now. We are exclusive. Here are the rules." without instantly losing all SMV due to perceived neediness or loss of mystery or whatever. I read all the time that men are the gatekeepers of commitment but no one says how to bring that contract to her attention in the correct way.