Growing up, my mother used to compare me to academically better achieving male colleagues, belittling me and shit. Till this day I feel little compared to other more successful men, and feel that any SO will leave me for them. I am a mess. What can I do?

As the title says.

My fucking own fucking mother compared me all the time to other men and shared her dissatisfaction with me, how she wished I were like them, etc. My fucking mother!

I am never safe in any relationship. In fact, I abort many relationships before they start to prevent going through the inescapable fate: My girl finding a better man and leaving me for them.

What makes it worse is that I now have a narcissistic, handsome colleague whom I watch game my other colleagues' gf for fun. Day in, day out, he is there reminding me that if I ever have a gf in the near future and bring her to work he can easily take her to bed that same day. What's the point?

I feel of so little value among other men when it comes to women it is ridiculous. I am quite happy with myself wrt everything else: work, money, fitness, ... since I do not compare myself against other men on those things, but put women in the equation and I become as jealous as a child.