Hello ladies. As per the title, personally I do feel that cultural/societal norms have a huge impact on developing a RPW lifestyle. I speak from personal experience.

I am British and up until meeting my now husband, I had always dated British men. I always found them too weak in many ways, though admittedly this may have also been an age thing (late teens and early 20s.)

However I’m now in my mid 30s and see my British friends and acquaintances still not in the type of relationship I would be happy with. They seem very much expected to be able to all that a man can (and IMO a man should) do, and being one of the guys appears to be becoming so normalised for women. I sometimes wonder if this is the curse of modern feminism, and the need to be masculine and therefore ‘equal.’

My husband is South African, his family were originally quite upper class British but moved to SA well before he was born. He was raised very traditionally, as were his friends. Such as: he will always stand when a lady enters the room. He will always get a lady’s chair and car door. He will carry shopping, stand when a lady gets up to leave, and basically be genuinely chivalrous and mannerly always.

This was new to me, and many friends who hadn’t yet met him said it would wear off and it was just to impress me, but nope, 10 years later, this is who he is. With everyone.

He is well spoken, great morals, traditional, respectful. Does not expect a woman to be a man, and knows she is all the better for it. He is masculine but not bullish, always a leader, both in career, sports, and friendships.

His goal in life is to provide me, and us, with the best life possible. He is ambitious and already has a incredible career in a very high class environment, but always wants to do better for us. He is a wonderful provider, anything I want I can have without question. He constantly surprises me with trips away and so on. I can not fault him.

Myself, I’m smart and sharp, but I am also very strong willed, and have never been career orientated. He isn’t fazed by me and isn’t insecure, we are a good fit.

I do however know that I would have likely never found a man like him at home in the uk. All of my friends and family have always commented on what a wonderful man he is for all the reasons I’ve outlined, and it makes me realise that culture and societal norms are so influential.

If my husband even as a teenager didn’t allow a woman through a doorway first, got her chair etc, didn’t shake a mans hand to greet him etc, he would have been seen as rude. However for myself, growing up in the uk, I cannot even fathom any man I know being so chivalrous and mannerly without either being mocked for it, or feeling emasculated by it. This push by society for men and women to be equals is doing us no favours. I truly believe this.

I would love to hear your own experiences if you’ve dated men from different countries.