Minor details changed on the off-chance he sees this.

I really want to post a picture but for obvious reasons won't risk it. I'm under 130 lbs hourglass shaped 9. When I take the infatuation goggles off he's probably a 7. I am awkward and fucking shit at any form of flirtation but dress very well and get looks/creepy comments/car horns with regularity. Probably the only reason it isn't more is that I'm an introverted nerd and never go anywhere.

So this guy messaged me on OKC. tl:dr we are in the same grad school (STEM field). He doesn't know it's me and I don't have a pic up but guesses who I am in class. Looks very happy to see me when I arrive at the date. He says don't think of it as a date if it makes it feel less awkward, but when I arrive at the theater he's very much acting like it is.

Go on two more dates and he doesn't touch me at all. Go on third date in the evening at his place and nothing happens. Confused, ask him if his feelings are platonic or not. He says platonic 'for now', mentions the age thing, then the next day outright rejects me. Gives me a rather condescending speech filled with all the cliches about an older man with a young thing on his arm blah blah, exactly what you'd expect from an older woman expecting shaming tactics. Says I'm too inexperienced and seems to be convinced he will mess me up and ruin my life if we get together because he had a bad time with an older woman when he was young and said that they weren't dates at all just activity partner/friendship things. Which is wtf as fuck because he doesn't include me with his other friends, doesn’t talk to me like his other ‘friends’ and it was always alone. Somehow, I can’t see him doing this with a male friend, or any of the other ‘non’ dates. He also said he's talking to another, older woman that he wants to see how it goes with, but to be honest it seemed like he wasn't that enthusiastic and he doesn't even know if she wants to meet him yet :/

It really seems like he's contradicting himself because he didn't have a problem with inexperience with the OKC questions and I was only one year below his age range. Is he just afraid of what people think If they see us together? Is this guy's blue pill morality just holding him back from what he actually wants, because that's what I suspect. This guy is definitely not alpha and he seems to lack confidence in himself. I gave him an opening to tell me honestly if it was some personality aspect or he just wasn't that into/attracted to me and he didn't say that.

I thought he would probably avoid me after that even though he gave me the ‘friends’ line and said I can 'chill at his house anytime', but now he's inviting me round to cook for me and talking to me even more than he was before. What gives? I do like this guy a lot for various personality/compatibility reasons. He says he feels like he can be himself around me and talk to me with no bullshit, I’m the female version of himself, etc, etc. But if he really things I’m just a child who doesn’t know who they are yet (yeah he used that line :/) why would he even want to be friends with me? What is a new gf going to think of his 22 year old bestie?

I'll just add I'm looking for long-term 'husband' material (even though actual marriage is not for me) and have no interest in 'playing the field' or any of that nonsense.