Hi, I want to start saying that I'm from Mexico and my English might not be the best, so I'm going to try to write as clear as I'm able to.

I've been married for 8 years, I've been in a deadbedroom for the same time. I just started it all this red pill stuff and I'm shocked, now I can see a pattern, can tell the exact moment when everything started going downhill. My wife doesn't respect me, desire me, I can now see that she doesn't see me as a man, or at least a masculine one, I know for sure she would fuck a "wilder man" 24/7 if she could.

Anyway... I have some inquiries about swallowing the red pill and being married. I know I've had my alpha moments when I was younger, maybe I had some natural alpha traits in me, but always had this goal of getting married, parents, society, even myself in past relationships diminished that so called alpha I was before getting married.

But, I feel like being married and being alpha is something I don't understand fully. I feel like I need an idea of how to behave normally and not just be a douche to make me think I'm an "alpha male". I.e. today we went to the supermarket to buy stuff for this coming week... Does an alpha male just sends his wife to buy everything and says NO, you do that, I won't help you buy shit?

I've been reading many posts here and I believe I'm not the only one that can't draw a line or define what an alpha married man is. Some guys post things about yeah, your wife doesn't want to have sex because she's not ovulating (which is an enormous lie), my wife blames hormones too, but I know for sure she would be happy to suck dry any of the so called alpha jerks. So, I believe those are blue pill tendencies.

I don't know where to look for some kind of guidance, I will start working out on Monday, I just payed for the gym today, I will retrieve my food plan I used when I went to crossfit, I'll get my teeth fixed so I have a glaring smile (my brother is a dentist). So physically I'm kind of already set, but mentally I still have shit tons of questions. Should I be helping with domestic stuff?

Does being a parent makes us less alpha? Or is it that as a parent and a married man we should look for a different kind of path in some circumstances? I mean, I do want to do some stuff, I want my house to be clean, I want to raise my children with as much love as I can give them, does that make me more alpha? Saying ok, you can go out with your female friends I will take care of children make me less alpha?

I do think that mindset is fundamental, I want to do some stuff for me, I want my house clean, I want to play with my children, I want her to go out and see her friends, those things make me happy. But if I start doing those things to make HER happy, expecting her to see me as the best man in the world, then things will go downhill again. I will do what makes me feel happy, what doesn't compromise self respect and love for myself, I can go to the supermarket so she can see how other women look at me, because that feels fucking awesome.

I know that maybe I'm answering my own questions, but t I feel like I just opened my eyes, resentment to her is fading, now I can see where I fucked up. I do have a lot of questions, I do know I'm still in NEED of sex, love, confidence, I'm a needy person and that way I can't be the man I want to be. All my friends are stil living a blue pill life, so my only reference for help, acknowledge is coming here and writing all this stuff so you guys can tell me what you think. How you solve mundane things, do you clean your house, do you try to win when your wife starts arguing? Are you sexually active with other women, what kind of things you do/say to make her feel you are available and being approached by other women aside from exercise?

I can say I'm excited as I see this as a challenge, maybe a harder one now that I'm married because it means you see that person every day at all times, you can't "rest" from your family as you can do with women when you're single.

I don't want to make this any longer. I know I just wrote a lot of ideas without any order. But I do invite you guys to answer, not only for me, we all learn from every contribution.