I am so glad to have found red pill for married men. If I put this up on regular trp I think I'd get shit from plate runners.

Long story short. I feel my number 1 priority is to keep my marriage together. I want to be with my kids and she's not a bad girl really. I caught a FB post that completely confirmed all my latent fears. I always knew she looked at pretty boys out of the corner of her eye. Did not care about all the "provider" things I was doing. I always suspected she was just bored. Being a mom, being a wife, everything.

Well private FB message to old "friend" just confirmed it.

"How have you been, really?" "I heard you broke up with your girlfriend." "The truth is I sometimes wish for more, wish I hadn't left (hometown) and wish to be more than just a mother and to enjoy life again." etc. etc. mother fucking etc.

So after this I was just destroyed. It was a complete slap in the face to everything I felt I was building up. It made me out to be a fool. That was like 10 months ago. I am fitter, friendlier (to others), colder to her, and she's never been better. Now she's good at the mom stuff, house cleaning, cooking, reading to kids not just tv all day, affectionate and feminine to me. I think it was a wake up call to her. I told her that I don't care how many kids we have together or anything else. If she ever did actually act upon this fire she was playing with and cheat on me I'd burn it all to the ground, send her and the kids to her mothers to live and I'd go nomad. She got the message and she and I think we're both doing good.

Here's my concern. I can't be cheated on. So I want the environment most conducive to keeping her hypergamy in long term check. I will say this, the whole experience changed me. I don't give a fuck. If I see an open cell phone or email now, I would Never check it. She killed the old me. All those months of growth made me see I could be alright without her (not without the kids though) and I'd just get someone new. I get IOIs at the gym from some quality contenders and I just don't really care about her throwing it all away so much anymore. I've come to terms with it. That no matter how much I wished it wouldn't because of all the bad that would come to all our lives, that it may still happen regardless.

(Side note. It completely shattered my faith. Wouldn't it be part of God's plan for my life to have an intact family? What greater good could come out of my kids being fucked up products of a single mother who just wanted to branch swing? That's a different story though.)

So I am thinking of moving to her home country of Mexico. I don't know what would be best for the kids, education wise etc, and frankly I can't worry about that. What is best for them is to have both of their parents and not raised at their Grandmas.

So I'm thinking:

  1. Move to Mexico. I do well in Mexico. Tall, Gringo, good spanish. And I'm a different person there. More open, fun flirty with women. Here more stoic boring and I just can't really break that barrier with Gringas for whatever reason. So it would be like constant dread if I did it right and it would keep her in check maybe? But she would also be a big commodity. Those mexican dudes are suave and it's her native language.

  2. Stay here. Boring bland gringoville, PTA meetings, feminized schools, dad working his ass off and not being appreciated. Mom bored and wanting to fool around or just "have fun." Here we go to churches. Don't really believe in it any longer, but it can't hurt to keep her hypergamy in check around people who don't drink, smoke, party etc.

So here I'm in the shadows, another boring beta around boring bland folk. But so is she.

I know this is mental diarrhea but I hope if got a part across of the dilemma that I go to sleep and wake up thinking about. That are just so many consequences to each choice, but duty to the kids and family formation comes first. All of this just called into question my perceived values and priorities.