I posted here about three weeks ago about how my mother punched me and I stood up to her by telling her that I won’t have that. I told her that she can talk to me but I won’t take physical abuse. I was advised here to just bite my tongue and avoid conflict as much as possible and finish my schooling so I can move out (I’m in my last college semester).

This is proving to be extremely difficult. I’m used to my mom berating me and calling me all sorts of terrible things a mother should never say, but it’s gotten to a point that it happens so fucking much over literally the SMALLEST things (called the stupidest child she’s ever seen in her life because I left a dish in the sink, called a disrespectful brat who has zero brain cells over a simple mistake such as overcooking a piece of meat, and many many many more instances). I am woken up daily to my mother pounding my bedroom door as if she had every intention to break it. You would think she was an army general. And despite all this, I am told to shut up and say nothing. It really gets to you.

I try and avoid conflict as much as possible, which is incredibly tough since courses are online due to COVID so I’m mostly at home, and when I’m at home my parents always want help with various tasks regardless of if I have an assignment due or not. I am expected to drop whatever I am doing or any plans I may have and help with whatever plans they’ve come up with for the day. We do absolutely nothing but work at home. It’s either cleaning, fixing something, or cooking. Never anything aside from those three. And if I go out to have fun with friends, I face a guilt trip from my mother that I’m out here enjoying myself while others work. Keep in mind I went 5 months without seeing a soul due to COVID. It’s a stressful life.

I’m having a very tough time not going insane myself. There’s only so much insults I can take before I lose it myself.