Hi, found this sub a couple of weeks ago. Still digesting most of the material, and continuing to study it each day.

I had a big crush on this girl in high school, but she never really noticed me. So on her birthday I decided to surprise her by putting flowers outside her car before school one day. It worked and it was like a switch had flipped. She started to pursue me heavily. Now I’m not going to lie, I was a complete beta in HS, and kinda got freaked out by how much she came to like me. We tried hooking up a couple times, but due to my inexperience it never progressed much because of awkwardness. She would usually ghost me for a while, and then hit me up again later. Rinse repeat etc.

Fast forward to college. She continued to text/snap me everyday. Telling me to come to visit her, how much she missed me, how she couldn’t wait to see me again etc. She lived kinda far away so I never visited. From her posts online she seemed to become very edgy, and completely changed her appearance. It seemed like she was having a tough time mentally.

We eventually reconnected over winter break, and she seemed completely broken. Nothing about her was the same. She told me about all these problems she was having with her roommate, parents, friends from home, etc. We ended up hooking up, but it was still pretty awkward due to my inexperience. I was worried about her well being. I told her I didn’t want to pursue her romantically at the time, but I was there for her as a friend to help her sort her shit out. There was a pretty bad miscommunication , and she took it as me basically friendzoning her. She ghosted me again, and tweeted all this dumb shit about us. The one that stuck out to me most that I can remember was “I just wanted a crack fag.” She then proceeded to ghost me.

Fast forward to the end of the semester. She reached out to me to tell me she missed me, and had been thinking about me a lot. We met up, and hooked up. This time it went great, but I said some dumbass shit about how I felt about her that freaked her out. She asked me why I wanted her when she had treated me so bad. I basically told her I had forgotten about all the shit she had done/said, which was true. I was really excited, and happy because she seemed to be back to her old self. She said she needed space, and some time to think about the situation.

I had thought about what she said about treating me poorly. I went back and read all our texts/tweets/etc. I became extremely angry, and decided to take things into my own hands. I didn’t respect her space request, and basically asked her out on a second date. She declined saying that I had disrespected her boundaries, and that she didn’t want to progress our relationship at the time. I proceeded to say some extremely fucked up shit that I regret to the point where she didn’t want to talk to me at all. Before we stopped talking, but after I had flipped out on her, she told me she had been dealing with some serious depression, and cutting herself.

No contact for a couple years until one of my friends kinda ambushed me into going to her house to smoke some pot. Was pretty awkward because of how embarrassed I was about how I handled myself, but she was gracious and kind about the situation. She said we should hangout sometime soon after that, and hit me up a couple times. I ghosted her, and didn’t meet up with her.

Fast forward a year to last week. She texted me last Tuesday. Hey, I hope you still have this number. It’s ____. I didn’t respond that night because my phone was dead, but I responded the next night. No response.

I know this post is extremely beta lol, but I want to pick the brains of the red pill community. What should I do? Leave it, and not talk to her? Or should I try to reach out to her to apologize, and see what she wants? Right now I’m at a loss of what to do, and I don’t have a solid bro council to ask for advice. Any responses would be appreciated.