I've read all the sidebar and working through the required reading.

Some prior info:

- I haven't really had a sexless marriage

- I have only been Married for less than 2 years.

- I've always been pretty level headed to the point where I laugh too much and make jokes during a fight.

- I've always been somewhat aloof it's just my personality.

- I'm in nationalist movements so I was already reading lots, lifting and losing weight (35kg down so far another 20kg to go)

- My wifes been having sex with my a lot more than usual and she's commented at least 3 times or more a week how I'm looking good.

- My wifes been struggling with work fucking with her

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A few weeks ago I think I had the first big shit test, I messaged my wife a month prior the captain and 1st mate dynamic telling her this is how it's going to be and she was really excited with the idea. I Shaved my head and grew out my beard and started being the captain. I also started deliberately instilling dread levels 1,2 and 3 (I was unconsciously doing it. I've been owning my shit, getting chores done ahead of schedule, shaking up the finances and taking my son to the park.

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So this is the shit test, I know it was because of anxiety because she told me overtly she was anxious in the morn before any good mornings were had. She decided to quit smoking and start hitting the gym that day, that night she was making dinner and I was having a beer and playing some fallout 4, our son just wanted his mum and was losing it. I'd take him away and comfort or distract him but as soon as he could he'd make a break for his mum. She blew up, I told her to calm down in a normal but solid voice and she did. Then my son began to choke on his dinner, I cleared his air way and he began to cry, she went nuclear this time. I took my son outside and next thing she storms out with washing and starts talking about how I never listen and leave everything to her.

I told her ''I'm happy to discuss any issues you have about any issues she has so long as she isn't yelling''

she told me to go fuck myself and she stormed off to her cousins.

A few hours later and I had put out the washing, cleaned up, put my son to bed and went to bed myself and she messaged me telling me who she was with. I replied her asking if she was coming home because I would leave the light on, she asked if I wanted her home and I said ''Yes, I'm just not going to tolerate being yelled at so disrepectfully, otherwise I'm happy to discuss any issues''.

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She came home and I went to sleep, I got up the next morning and kissed her on the forehead saying good morning and went to go to work when she said 'We aren't going to sort this out?'. I said what I had said before. She blew up again and I went to leave and she went quiet and asked where I was going. I said to her again I am not going to tolerate yelling. She calmed and said her peace and I admit there were things there she was right about I should have sorted out.
That night we were fine but the next day she went ballistic over something ridiculous, unloading on me about the same stuff again, she stopped suddenly and looked at me almost afraid and I just told her I can't take her seriously if she is going to keep yelling at me. She yelled at me over that (which I found really funny considering how ridiculous this all was) and I finally told her she needs to apologise about yelling and she said she'd just never talk again, I turned around and told her that if I spoke to her like this she'd be looking for a divorce and if she can't muster a simple apology without 'buts' I'm going to assume this marriage is over and start planning to tie it up. All her fire drained away, she looked like a child and just stood there dumbfounded. finally she muttered something like 'I just get really frustrated, I'm sorry work has been really hard'. I hugged her and kissed her forehead.

Now from stuff I've read and listened of Rollos this makes sense cause she was starting her period and this was a comfort/shit test to make sure I was gonna be her oak during this time of issues at her work.