I know we all love our hard and fast rules that simplify our reality, such as AWALT. These little heuristics are what make RP thinking so efficient and effective. But without a subtle and nuanced understanding, I think this sort of thing leads some men down a path towards nihilism and oblivion. Seriously - I went over to r/exredpill the other day and there are a lot of guys that RP philosophy has left worse than it found them.

Here’s my thinking. There are some women out there who are hopelessly devoted to their partners, regardless of SMV, regardless of attractiveness, regardless of anything really. There are even some women out there who stay with their quadriplegic partners til the day they die without cheating.

OK - so strictly speaking, not all women are like that, clearly. So when we’re talking about women (for example) branch hopping to to climb the SMV ladder, and we say AWALT, it’s just not true, is it?

It would be more true to say, naive, young, attractive, undesirable women are like that. But aren’t we all searching for the woman who isn’t like that?

I’m not a woman, but let me tell you about my behaviour as a young man. I was arrogant, insecure, attractive, and hungry for female validation. I cheated on my girlfriends, and in the process hurt them and myself, and lost a woman who, had I met later in my life, probably could have been a life partner.

If reality were flipped she could well have been on a forum saying “AMALT” (men), but it just wouldn’t have been true either. It negates the possibility of personal growth and change.

How have I changed? Well, the pain I experienced losing someone I loved and hurting them so badly taught me one thing. It’s rare to come across someone you’re truly compatible with, and whom you end up feeling genuine love for. Life is short, and if you go through life hopping the branches, always searching for something better, you never have the opportunity to build anything of worth. It’s all fun in your 20’s, but as you get older, there’s a big shift in the balance between fun / security with both of the sexes feel, perhaps women even more for biological reasons.

I’m in my 30’s and in a LTR now with someone I very deeply care about and am committed to. Opportunities present themselves to me that I would have found irresistible before, but now, the moment I see the opportunity, it plays out in my head for a few seconds, I build a future picture based on my past painful experiences with such things, and this immediately makes me lose interest.

It’s extremely strange to be in this position because for most of my adult life, I found such opportunities literally irresistible, I would actively seek them out. But the pain of experience has flipped my perspective on this. Even entertaining the though of branch hopping scares me, because I know it jeopardises the thing I’ve been building with their person I love the most, I know the world of pain that awaits if it’s entertained, and this kills my desire stone dead.

What I’m trying to say is, once a person has loved and lost, their whole perspective can shift, their beliefs change, and their actions in a given situation will have also change.

It’s possible for a woman to be like that, go through an immense amount of pain and suffering due to her selfish actions, and have her whole perspective flipped. I believe almost “AWALT” until they’ve loved and lost due to their selfish behaviour.

The ones that don’t change after causing such hurt and carnage are likely damaged anyway, incapable of forming a proper pair bond in the first place, and thus unable to feel the pain required that would change their future behaviour. These women aren’t worth the time of day, they need psychological help, and are victims of their own reality.