I decided to talk about a topic which I believe isn't covered enough in here, and I'm sure this post will help many people as it's a real common flaw.
I've been lurking to TRP for almost a year now. Prior to that, I used to be a follower of the PUA community.
What TRP and PUA have in common is: they both have theories.
So, what's the topic I'm going to talk about?
The topic is the difference between theory and practice.
Many people spend literally days/weeks/months/years reading stuff and never applying anything in real life.
I was part, and still am sometimes, of these people. Infact I wrote this post for myself, as I often experience this.
- Let's see for a second the definition of "theory":
A theory is an analytical tool for understanding, explaining, and making predictions about a given subject matter.
You know now what every post here and in the PUA forums really is. It's a tool, nothing more.
That post about how to get laid? It's a tool.
That YouTube video that tells you how to increase testosterone naturally? It's a tool.
What do you use to cut the wood generally? You use an ax. What is an ax? It's a tool.
So let's go deeper. Will an ax cut the wood by itself without anyone putting it into motion?
You are right, it will not.
So you have a tool, but if you don't put into motion (practice), nothing will actually happen in real life.
Now, what did I say TRP posts are? They are theories. And we just learnt that theories are actually tools.
- Will that post about how to get laid, actually get you laid? Well, not really, unless you are going to use the information written in the post and put them into practice.
It says you need to approach a woman (1) , escalate (2) and close (3). These are the 3 info you must put into practice in order to actually get laid. Exactly, they are 3 steps only.
- Will that YouTube video telling you how to increase testosterone actually increase your testosterone by you sitting in the sofa? I guess not.
It says you need to lift heavy (1) at the gym, reduce sugar intake (2) , increase good fats (3) and have enough sleep (4). We have 4 info here you are going to put into practice to actually increase your testosterone. 4, simple steps. I said simple, not easy.
- Now let's see what is the definition of "practice":
Practice is the act of rehearsing a behavior over and over, or engaging in an activity again and again, for the purpose of improving or mastering it.
How well one improves with practice depends on several factors, such as the frequency it is engaged in. If a student does not practise often enough, reinforcement fades, and he or she is likely to forget what was learned.
So, many things might be clear to you so far. Let's make it more easy to understand.
Every post you read here, you need to put it into fucking practice. No "let me read another one then I'm okay" or "I'm not ready yet, I need to read 20 books before". I've been like that too, that's why I'm telling you to wake up and realise it's never going to work.
- Reading endless theories will make your brain freeze whenever you are going out to approach women. It simply can't internalise so much stuff all at once. All you are doing when you are reading stuff here and feeling "damn man I'm now a fucking playboy" is just receiveing dopamine spikes, just like when you are watching porn. You think you now know how to get laid, while you are just tricking your brain. You now may hate me for the rest of your life, but trust me this is the real pill you need to digest.
Avoid overcomplicating your life with all these theories. Yes, they are useful and are absolutely interesting to read, but they are going to have a positive impact in your life only, and only if you are going to put them into practice every single time. Read one theory post, then write a field report. 1:1 ratio. No 30:1.
There's no real point in reading 30 posts and applying once, and I think the reason is quite obvious, isn't it? It's physically impossible for you to apply all that information in one single approach. How the fuck are you going to do that?
Test it yourself. Read 30 posts here and go out. I already can tell you what you will feel. You will feel approach anxiety and will end up not approaching at all. And if you will approach, you will realise you don't remember a single thing about the 30 posts.
"But damn, I've read 30 posts! I should be able to get laid now". Yeah, you can finally see your brain has been tricked.
Behavior (and beliefs) only changes when you experience events in real life. Reading is not enough to impact your subconscious into changing your behavior.
- You don't believe women like to be touched? Try it yourself.
Escalate gradually and make sure you have improved your SMV to the point where you are a 6 at least, otherwise you will just look like a creep and it will not work. It must be done with extreme confidence.
Her conscious brain will most likely reply with "Don't touch my ass!" or stuff like that.
She has been teached since a young age to reply that way because if she doesn't, she will be categorized as a "slut".
Take that as a simple shit-test, nothing more.
By touching her and do not giving a fuck about her reaction, you subcommunicate you are the "alpha", and not Billy Beta who says "sorry I didn't want to touch you". If she acts (women are good actors) like she's angry just hold frame and keep escalating like nothing happened. It takes some emotional intelligence to understand when she's acting or not. If she yells "No!" then stop, she probably was never attracted to you in the first place.
This is just an example of the many things you can apply in real life with women. This subreddit is full of good info, and you are lucky to have found it. But you will never truly believe women like to be touched, until you try it yourself.
Now, read a post, and go out applying what it says. I know, it's hard. Leaving your comfort zone is the first step for improving your life. You will get rejected, everyone did.
*Everytime you do not want to approach, ask yourself "What do I have to lose?". What can happen? She might say "No", or she might go away laughing at you. And so fucking what? Is this what a man should be scared of? Just think about it for a second.*
Look for the possible positive outcomes, not the negatives. *"**I might get a number", "I might establish a date", "I might friendzone her and getting to know her attractive girl-friends.".*
The possibilities are endless.
there doesn't seem to be anything here