Redditlog is down but will post r/confession and r/confession threads later.

Recently me and my girlfriend moved to a foreign country together. Before this our sex life had always been very tame. Even though I expected she might have some kinky fantasies it was always fairly tame in the bedroom and we never really talked about it. However a few months ago after sex she mentioned she'd like to try pegging. I knew what it was(I've had an internet connection for some time now) and it's never appealed to me at all. Even though I really care(cared?) about her I couldn't do it. I told her this and she just blows up in my face. Said she didn't want to be in relationship with a partner that doesn't care about her etc etc. She has got annoyed in the past but this was way more extreme. Things were a little frosty for a while after that but she brought it up again later. Since she is the only one of the two of us that has managed to find a job(we moved mostly for her career) she's paying all of the rent and bills at the moment. Over here I have no family or friends and if she was to kick me out I'd be completely screwed. I have no idea what I'd do. I can't even scrape up the money to get a plane ticket home. Most of the money I had went on things for christmas.

So I agreed to try it. I can't say I enjoy it at all. It actually hurts. It's got to the stage where it's a part of almost every single time we have sex now. I mentioned that I don't enjoy it but she asked me to do it for her, since she really enjoyed it. She also mentioned that I do orgasm from it so I must like it. Which is bullshit. I orgasm from her touching my dick not having things put in my ass. I'm also actually worried about some of the physical damage it could cause me.

I feel ashamed of myself most of the time. Especially straight after I orgasm. Really pathetic. She also keeps joking that she got me a "special present" for christmas and makes dirty jokes about it. Hate my life at this stage. Moving here was a huge mistake. She'll want to have sex every single night she's off for christmas. I'm not sure I can take it. But if I don't she could easily chuck me out in the street to freeze to death. I don't even know what aid there is in this country for the homeless(I'm in the UK?). The thought of having sex with her tonight makes me physically ill.

TLDR: Don't put yourself in a position were you allow yourself to be a victim.

PS: You can save the women wouldn't do this. r/thathappened comments. Yes stories like this are statistically unlikely to happen but that doesn't mean this scenario never happened.