now 23

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was in and out of psychosis from 17-22 and lived alone abroad with almost zero human contact

got my self together sort of no disabling mental illness anymore.

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I think what scare woman off is that i never went to school have 0 friends and live with my parents.

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I tried online dating but get zero attention at age 17~ and got like 100 messages on tinder and other sites and woman asked me out.

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positive things about me:

in the only year of my adult life that I wasn't insane i developed work ethic and discipline

i am mental hardened and get things done.

I work out everyday .

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I am really bad at guessing my own social skills but multiple official tests gave me an eq around 15 which is very low if a family member dies i won't feel a thing, but i can make people laugh.

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I was for a month in the Philippines and the girls rushed a relationship with me and boasted on their fb with pictures of me and invited me to their friends and work, after spending more time together i guess they sensed something is off with me and slowly stopped the contact.

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I don't really trust people and i noticed that I that i category woman in fuck or wife material, for example the two i got in a relationship with in Philippines were traditional and virgin i preferred the most which is hypocritical since i am not.

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maybe i could use my lack of emotions to my advantage and use it too look more macho

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now my plan is to save money and set up a digital company and then go to the Philippines and start over.

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and train my social skills i can't even have a regular conversation