Attraction can actually be negotiated?

Store_Front_Door · 2019-05-07T11:44:11+00:00

You're mixing up preselection and attraction. "Attraction can not be negotiated" applies to relationships with women that already "know" you and once they start losing the spark it's very hard/not worth the effort to ignite it back on

WIA20XX · 2019-05-07T15:33:52+00:00

You lack the ability to think/feel like a woman. You're applying a male thought pattern to a bunch of aliens.

Beards used to be something for old men, now they're seen as attractive.

Muscles make you look hot and make you look dumb and scary, all at the same time.

A chick has a best friend, until she doesn't get invited to a party. Now they hate each other.

You can have an argument with your girl in the car, but in the store she's perfectly pleasant and bubbly with everyone but you.

She will repeatedly watch a tear jerking movie to cry in order to feel good.

This is the baseline, they don't process information like you.

In terms of attractiveness, there is the primal/gene level and then the social/psychological.

The bouncer is almost always a better pick for strong and healthy babies, but the chatty flirtatious bartender is the one getting the most sex. Red Pill can't fit that basic fact into the theory, and pickup only gives lip service to primal attraction. But here we are.

The pickup attempt

When you step up to the broad and try to impress her, the fact that you're trying to impress her, is a demonstration of lower social value.

It shows that you think she is someone that needs to be impressed. She is not. She may feel like she is, or maybe she doesn't. But for our purposes, she is not.

And, in her mind, you are probably lying. A really impressive person would not need to say anything. A guy that is 6'4" doesn't wear a t shirt with his height on it.

But when other people are impressed, they have no incentive to lie.

These are honest signals.

When she sees you with cool dudes or people treating you with respect, or very attractive women trying to get your attention - those are honest signals. That is social proof, that is pre-selection. And in her mind, you certainly couldn't lie about that. She looks at the nonverbal language of the people around you. Those faces, those voices are consistent with what she knows to be "true".

She has to rethink her assessment.

Was she wrong about you?

When she looked at your nonverbal body language plus your words, she wasn't impressed. But could she have been mistaken?

Girls outsource their decisions all the time.
They outsource their feelings.
They let the physical environment itself affect the decision making process.

What do her friends think about you?
How do other men treat you?
What does her pet think about you?

All of these 3rd parties have more influence on her versus what you say, her experiences with you, and how she feels.

Negotiate is the wrong concept. You don't ever want to go head to head with an opponent. Not in pickup, not in war, not in business.

But you can engineer this stuff. When you know what girls are looking for on a social level, you can let her "discover" your merits on her own.

Meeting and befriending strangers is more powerful than whatever bullshit you say to her. And as an expert bullshitter, that fact wounds me.

If she can see you work the crowd, if you can work her friends.... then pulling her is that much easier.

So when other people are impressed, in particular, people that she is impressed by, then she's more likely to be impressed.

Her putting you on a pedestal, make using a buyer/evaluator frame much easier. Does she actually impress you. Most guys are faking this part, the ass is the only thing that's actually impressive. But she's gonna fake it later so.....

MattyAnon · 2019-05-07T13:08:11+00:00

In other words , attraction can be negotiated , just not directly?

Your example is not of negotiating attraction: you didn't verbally try to increase attraction and you didn't bargain it for something else.

What you are saying is that attraction is changeable, and that's absolutely the case.

frick-a-frack · 2019-05-07T16:48:12+00:00

One is negotiation. Failure.
The other is FOMO (fear of missing out).

Title	Attraction can actually be negotiated?
Author	Poltergeist-God
Upvotes	1
Comments	5
Date	May 7, 2019 11:38 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/blpmrq/attraction_can_actually_be_negotiated/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/attraction-can-actually-be-negotiated.237464 https://theredarchive.com/post/237464

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