I wanted to post this to redpill but my account has little karma. I feel like you are the only people i can share this to and any suggestions from plenty of people here with a similar situation are welcome to contribute how you dealt with this. Life can suck sometimes, but our ability to persevere through all the shit is what makes us men.

If this post gets deleted, so be it, but i would love to know that someone has read this and can relate.

Story time:

I will preface this by saying that this post is for complete newbies who upon learning some of the TRP’s teachings get into LTR’s with the first plate they really start to like. Apologies if formatting is bad, I’m on mobile.

A few years back i was feeling like i had to change. I needed to be a better man thanks to TRP. I lurked for a while reading field reports without really thinking too much about the deeper philosophy of TRP. However as time moved on i got more into it and decided that it’s time to be best version of myself.

I did all of the things. I lifted, i read, i owned my shit. I had rules which i followed religiously. My path was clear and i was killing it in every way possible in my career. Got promoted. Life was good.

Then, as i yet didn’t understand, a unicorn appeared. She had green eyes, blonde hair and a nice ass. Without putting too much effort i plated her. Life was good. I was killing it and really liked her as we got along very nicely. Then we happened upon a FWB situation. And you know what happens next, we’re in a LTR.

Life was good for a while. I blasted through shit tests, comfort tests, anything. She was mine. I still owned everything and had my life in order.

As the honeymoon passed, i noticed her only thing which provides anything of significance to her was me. Anything. Emotional support, companionship. A friend. Good sex. It was all me.

I noticed her getting miserable when i would go out with friends and live my own life. I knew how to deal with this, however as time moved on, as you know, i started feeling loads of comfort. This comfort turned the blue back on in me, i started to believe what she was saying. How i don’t care. How i never do this or that.

It got to the point where i isolated myself from friends, dodged events etc. I was miserable and only happy with her. I got depressed without even knowing it then yet. And i do loved and still love her very much even now.

The relationship lasted for two years. Good memories and bad, my biggest mistake was losing myself in the process.

Once, i decided to leave her and told her to pack her shit and leave in the morning. She did that. I got rid of the problem but faced another realization that the actual problem was me all along. I lost myself in the shire of feelings with this unicorn.

I’m a mess. Right now. For three weeks after the breakup i was doing fine. I didn’t give a shit. Then i checked her socials. She was out somewhere and i knew it was with a dude. Rush of feelings came over and i thought i made a huge mistake. Started talking with her again. Occasionally meeting up to fuck, chat and remember the good old times maybe with an idea of it becoming something good again.

I knew deep down she was fucking that guy, but i thought that she was telling the truth and is not ready to fuck someone, she just wants attention because i probably was her best and it ain’t easy letting go someone like me.

Yeah, she fucked him first day of meeting him after 2 hours, just told me that herself. I knew she was stringing me along, but i continued anyway.

Blue pill swallowed me whole again, and even knowing what actions to take right now it’s extremely hard to start over.

Why the fuck have i ever stopped? Red pill comes in waves, and as this was my first ever LTR i now understand, in order to truly understand their nature you sometimes have to swallow pills like that. She was fucking him while also fucking me and telling me she loves me.

During the course of the relationship i did a big 180. Now, after tonight i did a 360. Now with a way more bitter pill swallowed than the first time.

My time is now and i think now i understand that their words mean exactly nothing and it’s all in the subtext.

Wish me luck, i will be stronger than ever now. I will pick myself up and take shit from no one. This is when i remember i am my own man and this time it will last forever.