Last summer I experienced a slightly different variation of what many others here have before me: my wife of 23 years had been gradually losing her desire for anything physical, and it finally hit me between the eyes when I realized we had not been intimate (intercourse) for almost a year.

She (55 at the time, 56 now) is a truly beautiful woman, who has been saying that since menopause she simply had zero desire for anything sexual. It was just gone. After “the talk”, I (53 at the time) pouted, felt sorry for myself, and felt pretty damn helpless overall. Pathetic mental response by me, really, in retrospect. She said it was hormones and menopause, and that she would happily “take care” of me anytime I desired it to keep us together, but her own desire had evaporated. That was great and all, but a man (me) who knows there is no reciprocal desire anymore quickly finds himself staring at the ceiling in frustration. It was pretty apparent that she only was “offering” in order to maintain her security and status quo. In short, it sucked.

So I turned to MRP and read, literally, everything. The next 6 months were all about focusing on the guy in the mirror, lifting, and consciously stopping the feelings of self pity. After 10 months of hard work, I went from a pudgy, soft middle aged guy....to a lean, super fit, attractive representative of the male side of our species. Physically, I have not felt better in 25 years. Mentally, I dealt with the non-reciprocated desire with a friendly, still flirting, but DNGAF attitude. She has absolutely taken notice. Other women absolutely have taken notice. Her friends flirt al,ost constantly when she is out of earshot at parties.

At this point, I am looking for advice. She has upped her attention levels towards me noticeably, but still feels no desire of her own. She is seeing a 2nd hormonal doc, and says she wants to “get the desire” back. So far, though, no luck or success. It has been nearly 4 years, and I truly care for her as a friend, mother of our kids, etc. It is just the physical, mutual intimacy that is lacking so badly.

Hammer away if you have a thought. It is so hard to be objective when it is happening to you personally. Love this board, and won’t take constructive shots the wrong way.