so I'm having coffee with a friend. she's 29 HB7. I see her as fairly formal, well educated, business owner, not trashy.

topic turns to sex and she says "Do you like a finger up your ass" "No". Her "I used to fuck this guy and he loved having a finger up his ass." "That's kind of gay." Her "No. He got off on it so much." Me "Do you like a finger up your ass?" Her "Yes. It's hot. I got off too ... What about having your ass eaten. What do you think of a girl putting her tongue up your ass? Would you like that?" Me "It's not really my thing." Her "Oh does that make you feel uncomfortable?" "Naw. It's just not really my thing." At this point I'm a little uncomfortable. She's cute but I'm not that attracted to her. I did not lose frame but I just didn't have a good response in the moment.

After a minute I came back with "Look, maybe I feel like doing something with a woman, maybe I don't. I do what I want in the moment and that's it. I don't plan it out."

I think it could have been handled better. the way I read this is that she was challenging my dominance / masculine frame / putting me on the defensive. she comes from a non-western culture that is much more open sexually. She was taking the masculine, sexually aggressive frame and trying to put me in the prudish feminine frame. My response was basically "I'm too good" or flip the script / playing into my higher value by not getting excited or nervous by her sex.

But I would have liked to more aggressively assert masculine frame. Call her out for being vulgar? Agree and amplify?