Solitude is killing me

BajaGhia · 2019-07-20T04:21:58+00:00

Ok dude, I gotcha.

Become a daily shopper for your food. Go to the supermarket every day. Say hi to the produce guy or girl, grab a few small things. Head to the butcher, get a chicken breast or thigh, just one. Say hello to them, ask how they are doing. They are working but they will be nice to you because it's what they are supposed to do. When they ask you how you are don't just say "fine", elaborate a lil. Say you great, it was a good day, I did this or so and so. Project energy into yourself while you do this. They will pick up on that and vibe off it and be happy to be interacting with you. These people have tough jobs and if you can inject some personality into them they will have a better day. Say hi to the guy stocking the dairy section, etc.

Do this every day. Buy small portions for dinner and lunch tomorrow so you have to go back. As long as your at it, learn to cook. After a few weeks everyone their will know you and be happy you came by, you could be the highlight of their shift because fucking stocking a bunch of shit for a bunch of thankless assholes is tough. You'll realize that it's not that hard, you just have to put some effort into it. Just make it a habit. Next start complimenting people, start with the supermarket, tell the cheese lady her hair looks nice, be sincere and joyous that you are here.

Be the mad knight who laughingly goes into battle.

Now when you walk into a situation and people are milling about in their listless, semi vegetative state and somebody asks you how you are you can LITERALLY LIFT THE ROOM. It will take some practice and experience but all of a sudden you are the center of attention because you are full of life and have great shit going on and have this energy about you that is contagious and people want to groove on that.

Then you will need to learn how to throttle that shit back appropriately. How to reply to a woman in a confident sexy low undertone that life is fucking amazing. (And the unspoken she should get on the ride.) How to approach the water cooler and not engage in the talk and when you get addressed for your opinion, keep it short but powerful with your voice. (Yeah, there was a daddy bull and a baby bull on top of a hill...) then walk away.

And of course, lift, invest in yourself. Create the person you want to be. Then be that person.

Be good.

JiggyStreet · 2019-07-20T01:32:22+00:00

They can probably sense your neediness which puts people off. You have to learn to love yourself before other people can love or even like you.

Go join a club in something that interests you.

Distractingyou · 2019-07-20T04:17:06+00:00

You need a jump of faith and you need to think you are interesting, you come off as needy and probably people read your expressions.

Edit: reading a bit on your users history i have a lot more of theory, your problem is your enviroment, your enviroment has internalized that you are a beta willy and your worth is your work nothing else, my solution for you is to really get the fucked out of there at least for a while, its true you want to preserve your money but honestly dude you need to get out from that small town, small town big hell, you are everyones beta willy and no one gives a shit about beta willy only that beta willy shows off to the factory until the day he dies, your social dynamics cant change cause for them you are beta bili so no one in your town gives a fuck about you. Move to somewhere else and start all over again or at least go to vacations to somewhere like mexico to think more clear

CasualtyOfHedonism · 2019-07-20T01:56:32+00:00

You’re not even vegan.

Swallowing_the_Rpill · 2019-07-20T09:04:01+00:00

Take a seat and a cup of tea, this is long.

Brother here is the first thing you need to do: relax. You have been alone up until now and, although it sucks, you are alive and fine and are trying your best to solve it. You could be on drugs or killed yourself, but you are fighting the good fight.

Now, your therapists might be in part right. I know cuz I have gone to therapists and been told the same about my distorted reality. At the end they were kind of right and my perspective was wrong.

Despite having a good time, they just talked to me because they had nothing better

So low value that they won't remember my name?

This is that distorted perspective talking. People now have phones, they wouldn't speak to you if they didn't want to, they would just chat with someone else or scroll on Instagram. Also people don't judge you based on value, you will find that in university, the poorest dude with shit clothes tends to be quite popular. It's not about value.

But now onto the practical stuff.

Making friends takes time, so if you talk with one person one day in class, you need to repeat it multiple times. Just every time you go to class, go fist bump (or whatever way of saying hi) and ask them how is everything. Maybe call back to something they told you (like a problem or if they have a gf, ask them how is she). Don't force the conversation further, if it dies it dies. You just need to get your reps in.

This builds familiarity. Once you guys are familiar and let loose (which might take a few days, don't force it), then you need to invite them out: maybe have lunch at uni between lectures, for a beer or even organize a party where you invite them and everyone you talked to. Be the initiator and be persistent. You are not hurting anyone, you are just trying to make people have fun and make friends. Keep that in mind.

It comes down to that: familiarity. Get your reps in, everyday.

You see a dude. Don't forget his name. Say hi, be friendly and don't force it (just the classic small talk, ask about them, and maybe tell a funny story if you have it). Once the conversation dies, you just leave and come back the next day. You'll get to know that person and something will happen. They'll mention how they love paintball. Bingo. You've built your familiarity so you go for it. You tell them you've never done it and want to try it. "Let's go together!" You say. Hell, let's invite this other 15 people I have been talking to every fucking day. It's a fun plan, if they say no they are missing out.

You go, have fun. Again don't force it. Fun arises from relaxation. Now you probably have an acquaintance. Keep going out with them and talking every fucking day. They post some cool shit in social media? Like it and comment on it. Superficial? Maybe but it's the world we live in.

Look at all that. None of it is desperate or needy. All you are doing is providing value and good vibes. Creating fun plans. Connecting people you have met through your hard social work. You don't force it so people don't get uncomfortable. You just come back the next day to get your fist bump in.

Now you see all that fucking Bible I just wrote? Do it with everyone. Seriously. Do it with 50 people. At uni, at work, at the groceries you go to... You will begin to struggle to remember names and things they told you. You will begin to receive messages in your phone because you have like 70 conversations going at the same time. It's a numbers game.

Then wake up one morning and realise you made it. You have plans for the weekend. You have messages in your phone and people to talk to. It was never your value or that they had nothing better to do. It was a question of familiarity, persistence, and patience.

And just for you: do the same thing with women (approach many, lead and initiate stuff, provide good vibes and relax, do it everywhere and everyone). That's how you get 10 girls messaging you. It's a numbers game.

CasualtyOfHedonism · 2019-07-20T01:57:20+00:00

Yea I feel you bro. Use the time to improve, make friends online until you’re high quality enough to look a bitch in her eye and steal her soul.

Title	Solitude is killing me
Author	rev0ltz_
Upvotes	3
Comments	6
Date	July 20, 2019 1:04 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/cffv0w/solitude_is_killing_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/solitude-is-killing-me.246037 https://theredarchive.com/post/246037

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