Hey guys.

I have been a redditor for a while now. I have stumbled upon this sub by accident. This has really opened my eyes. I can't thank you guys enough. While I don't agree with everything here (I doubt any rational human being does), I can definately see what you guys are aiming at.

I usually disdain a lot of 'self help' schemes as exactly that. But, I believe this to be different.

I'm reading through posts and comments on here, and it's like my eyes are opening for the first time.

My story is similar to many men here. All my life, I was led to believe I am inferior, yet somehow superior. While I am somewhat blessed physically (I'm not ugly in the face, full head of hair, no grey, youthful appearance, despite a poor diet and laziness, well muscled and only a small amount of pudge) I truly believed I was ugly. It showed too.

I was able to get women into bed, and even in relationships. The problem is that these women were only interested in my surface values and they weren't overly attractive themselves. So, resulted in my being a huge beta. Always sacrificing myself. Changing who I am for them. Entirely unhealthy for both concerned.

I have parted ways with my most recent partner about a year ago now, and at age 33, I am seeing what an idiot I have been. I can be happy being alone. Or with another. IT DOESN'T MATTER. For months now, I could see myself getting consumed by revenge on my ex. I could see it from the outside, but still doing it. Co-workers and friends saw it too.

I can see now that it's unhealthy. Confidence is truly the key. Not for getting a partner, but for happiness. I would put on an air of confidence at work, and it worked. People respond positively to it. EVEN IF IT'S WRONG!

Put simply, today is the first day of the rest of my life. I don't see myself being a gym junkie, or a billionaire. Even if I die with nothing but a pile of video games and a crappy car to my name, I'll know I earned it. I deserve it. Nothing can take that away from me.

In short, I'm going to man up. Not because it's what women really want, but because -I- need to and WANT to.

Keep up the good work guys :)