Hey ladies 🌹

Looking for some encouragement. Maybe some similar stories where you overcame your issues when it seemed overwhelming? 21 F I have so much to mend before before I would make a healthy partner. Ofc, before I can thrive, too.

Have cptsd from childhood, strong fear of men, fear of intimacy, panic disorder, don't hold men in high esteem, scared perfectionist, don't know who I want to be, unemployed, low skills, no direction, no friends currently, orphaned, . Lonely, lonely, lonely.

It feels like everything is so overwhelming to heal. Its needed. But, the irrational side of me is worried that the wall will come b4 complete healing.

To heal these things I have joined meetups, planning on working at a daycare or waitress.

Maybe a waitress at a university campus so I can meet young people?? And work on skill building. I'd be fine doing hvac or tv repair. Money is good.

Looking for a church.

Doing workbooks an journaling for cptsd and anxiety. Idk, it doesnt feel enough or fast enough, at least.

The only 4 things going for me is that I am an excellent baker, very nurturing, fit, & ex boutique model. Thanks ladies! Look up to you all 🥀