So my biggest problem is I always seem to fuck it up with girls in the past who I'd like to LTR.

Don't get me wrong most of the time these girls are no way near right for me (e.g. smokers, reformed sluts, wall hitting, etc) but its been a common trend that it would always end before it even begun. I'd go on several dates, sleep with them, you name it, but that next step, it never quite always transitioned properly.

So I have thanks to nonothingnovember decided to address vices, including obsessions with chasing women constantly, drinking, and fapping.

Since doing that my life has completely changed. I believe my training in the gym is smarter, simpler, and I have little to no stress or agro in my life. I don't really socialize anymore, as most of the stuff I did was useless. Same bars, same people, same shit. Whats in it for me? Probably nothing.

As a result, this may sound odd, my brain started to work a lot better. I was able to work things out easier. I was focused. I became smarter within weeks.

I could solve problems at work, analyse my gym routines to improve, I sleep better, I even eat better. Its strange. Its like "waking up."

I was in the shower, ‎Archimedes style it hit me. Eureka. I thought. I wrote on the steaming mirror in the bathroom a list of reasons that things went wrong with me with girls too soon:

  1. I didn't play it cool - I was too nice, too involved, try hard.
  2. I always wanted to hang out - I was so used to girls who were about to travel, leave for uni etc, that I always had this urgency.
  3. I feared it wouldn't work out - Lack of abundance.
  4. Obsessive - Facebook, twitter, you name it. I looked at everything, constantly.

So I thought ok, thats what has stopped me before. It hasn't worked in the past doing that. So I literally wrote the opposite:

  1. Play it cool. Relax.
  2. There is no rush.
  3. Abundance, who gives a fuck if it doesnt work out? Will this girl matter in a month? Year? 10 years?
  4. Focus on self improvement instead, constantly.

Amazing, so powerful. I read it every day. I remind myself every day too.

Slight FR here: so I met a girl we've been out once, hooked up, very romantic style girl. However she's been busy with school so not met since our first date but we've been talking. She messages me today and were talking in the morning.

However, I made a joke about she was being too soppy and I was looking forward to cuddling with her (we always talk about this, and she was going on about babies being cute and shit) to which she was like "what? lol" I said it was a "shit joke doesnt matter" to which she goes "urm...okay...bit confused but okay..."

I wrote what I meant to say, and said "you know its a shit joke when you have to explain it." The conversation literally ended there. No reply nothing. Suddenly the old thoughts returned. Now, is there any point doing what I used to do? e.g.

  1. Not playing it cool - "was it something I said? are you insulted? u ok?? whats wrong?" I've got YEARS of experience doing that. Not a good idea.

  2. I always wanted to hang out - Shit! Does this ruin the chance of a second date now?! Maybe. But so what?

  3. Lack of Abundance - I'm afraid to lose her. Oneitis.

  4. Obsessive on her - Again oneitis.

I have a metaphorical degree in what NOT to do when you like a girl etc. So as a result of my new mantra I interpreted her lack of reply to just "ok then." And thats it. Because you know the score of what not to do. Although your inner blue pill is screaming to do the wrong thing.

I hope this finds you well.