There have been several posts regarding Monk Mode, which is a temporary form of MTGOW and I'd like to share my perspectives and experience.

Goal of Monk Mode

The goal of monk mode should not be to learn a new language, lift, get a new job, etc. This kind of self-improvement is constant and should occur every day of your life and you should not need monk mode for it.

The goals of monk mode are only the ones that require you to withdraw from women specifically and society generally.

  • Self-awareness: To figure out who you are and what you want
  • Self-sufficiency: To realize that you need no one else to survive, be happy and thrive

Entering monk mode Simply break up or pause with all girls in your life. Say you won't be in contact for six months because you are involved in a project or study that limits outside contact. Do not for god's sake say you are going in monk mode, to find yourself or anything that will cause them to think you are depressed or a suicide risk. Do not initiate contact with any girl. You can call your mom every week and say hello to the cashier at the grocery store. Understand that you should not be perceived as abnormal by anyone except any romantic interests. You can even talk to girls if you happen to be in a pub, but for most of you, all this will be distraction, so I recommend no approach for the first three months.

I know who I am

There is some form of tradition where men withdraw to find themselves all over the world. Native Americans have vision quests. Australian aborigines have walkabouts. TRP has monk mode. Knowing who you are and what you want and accepting it is key to personal integrity. From personal integrity flows an unflinching frame.

What is personal integrity? Lets say you make a statement about yourself. "I am a great athlete". Now consider that one member from the audience pushes back, saying "Michael Jordan is an athlete. Tiger Woods is an athlete. You are not an athlete." If you fold, you have no personal integrity. Your idea of who you are needs to be fucking solid. Every statement you make about yourself should simply not be up for challenge or discussion because it should be so obviously true. When the rubber meets the road, your idea of yourself should not need to be adjusted to "I'm a potential great athlete".

The idea of who you are is not primarily about how others see you, its about how you see yourself. What are you? Are you courageous? Are you a dare-devil? A risk-taker? A leader of men? Charismatic speaker? Intellectual?

It does not matter specifically, but knowing who you are is absolutely essential because your frame flows from it

Once you know who you are, you will be unfazed by challenges and shit tests. You will be. The Rock. The Oak. The immovable object that everyone is welcome to bash their head against. (More on frame in a separate post)

I know what I want

Look at the number of college students who don't know what they want to major in. This is an unnecessary crisis. Keeping your options open and other indecisiveness is a result of not knowing what you want. A weak, bitchy, safe, risk-averse state that any man should be ashamed of being in.

Always, always strive to know what you want; that way you can focus your efforts on getting it rather than on figuring out what you want.

Do you want to work in a specific city? Travel for work? Do you want the tall redhead or the shy brunette? Ale or IPA? Stop wasting everybody's time trying to make up your mind. Know what you want and just go for it. Always. If you don't know, then just pick one. If you were wrong this time, you will probably be right in all subsequent times cause you just learnt what you don't want.

Once you know what you want, you will be bold and confident. You will lead automatically. You will inspire trust and admiration.

I am emotionally self-sufficient

Many men think they need a girlfriend or even any friend to be happy. You need to realize that you need no one but yourself to be happy. True happiness comes from within. Your goal is to learn how to be happy without needing anyone. Note that this does not mean you farm your own food or fix your own car, its more about not needing anyone else to make you feel whole.

Some signs that you are emotionally self-sufficient:

  • You do not care what anyone thinks of your fashion choices
  • You do not buy the latest iphone just because your friends have got them
  • You do not feel the urge to correct someone regarding some obscure technological or historical fact
  • You do not care if someone has some detail about you incorrect (such as your hometown, your age or sexual orientation)

Once you are emotionally self-sufficient, you are the leader of your own life.

You are able to build an interesting life for your own sake and let others come and go on your journey without adverse impact. Your friends will adore your strength. You will be a guide and powerful force everywhere you go.

Once you achieve all the above, your life will be changed forever. You will have reached the following state:

  • Outcome independent
  • Non-validation seeking
  • Confident
  • Utter self-assurance (IDGAF)
  • ... and more.

Exiting Monk mode My suggestion is to limit monk mode to a fixed amount of time, say six months. This is because there is no objective way to measure where you are in terms of progress. If you feel you need more, always extend by a fixed period, say 3 months.

This sounds like some zen shit, because it is some zen shit. Much of this is already present in all the world's great philosophic literature, but I'll leave it out for now, maybe make it another post if there is sufficient demand.

SURGEON GENERAL WARNING: You will be surrounded by so much pussy, you may constantly faint from the smell.