I'm 22. Young, energetic and unmasculine. I'm tired of myself. I have, after months of introspection realized that I can and must become a better version of myself. I'm timid, submissive, weak and scared of women. I got rejected by a girl close to a year back. I still am not over her.

She's my classmate and the influence she weilds on me even now is embarrassing. I'm a puppet on her string. I maintain distance from her. I live with my mom. I was raised by her. My father isnt the archetype of masculinity. He has no frame. That's what I've been exposed to since childhood. I hold some warped ideas. But I want to change. Guide me. Please. In my current version i can only become a provider. Id like to become an arouser. I'm 170 cm and 58 kgs.