I've been with my gf for three years now. Our sex life had slowed down over the last year. However, a few weeks ago, our sex life improved dramatically. We started to explore really crazy stuff in the bedroom and we were happier and hornier than ever.

One of the things we’ve been doing is talking about our fantasies while we fuck. Over the last few weeks though, it's taken a turn that makes me uncomfortable.

Lately she’s started talking about how much interracial sex turns her on (specifically with black men - we're both white btw). It started out pretty normal, and I didn’t have any issue with it, but it’s morphed into something strange.

She'll say stuff about how she wants to be defiled or made impure by a black man, while I watch (she says that I cannot compete with the sexual prowess of a black man). She's also said something really weird about how white women and black men share a special sexual bond, and she's dying to feel this bond, how she wants to be bred and degraded by black men. I feel weird typing this out.

I have no problem with interracial sex, but the way she’s talking about it comes across as really racist and I don’t know what to do. The whole thing about “a white woman changes forever once shes’s sexually bonded with a black man” (something else she’s said) bothers me because it’s dehumanizing and in my mind, pretty racist.

I worry that she might be prejudiced, or that her views on race are unhealthy. I also worry that she’ll be offended if I tell her how much this makes me uncomfortable. I’m worried about what will happen if I’m the first one to say “this is too far.”

I love my girlfriend and I plan to marry her, but these fantasies make me personally uncomfortable, and it makes me worry about what else is going on in her head.