Been on an extended trip (4 weeks), have an extended social circle where I am so my friends and I have had between 8-15 girls to hang out and party with.

I had my eye on 1 in particular, very very cute 21 year old. The first weekend (4 weeks ago) she was staying in another house she had rented with friends, got too drunk at our party, wound up throwing up, left, didn't end up coming back the next night.

She doesn't come the next 2 weekends, which was fine because a girl in the group I had previously been with came one of the weekends so I slept with her again. During this time I do end up hearing from the other girl's friend that she's sort of been seeing some dude that she's into the last few weeks.

This past weekend she wanted to come over early Friday and hang but I had plans so when I was done she came over. Party started up, everybody had a good time, we hooked up. I was pretty drunk and not sure what I was thinking but I wound up getting pretty focused on making her cum, went down on her for a while, didn't end up fucking her which is extremely unusual for me. Turns out she's never had a guy make her cum I found out after when we were talking. Wake up in the morning, start making out and fingering her and she just stops me. No big deal, not like that's never happened before. I figure we have the night and I'll seal the deal then. We lay in bed a little while longer and we hear everybody upstairs, she gets up and goes up to hang out with everybody I make my way up a few minutes after.

Saturday night comes, the girls all know it's our last weekend night in town so there's a lot of hype about it being a great night. She shows up and immediately I can feel something is off with her. I'm thinking she probably just feels a little slutty or something along those lines, figure do my own thing and she'll loosen/warm up, it's all good. She doesn't warm up, she remains pretty avoidant/cold to me the rest of the night. Winds up sleeping in a bed with a bunch of the girls rather than me.

Turns out, she felt guilty for the first night because of the other guy she's into that she's been talking to or whatever.

Initial reaction is, ok makes sense. I was exciting to her the first night and then we hooked up and the guilt hit her. Very plausible.

But then I start thinking about it and red pill things and I feel like this is where I go off the rails and either my insecurity shines through or I just need to somehow train myself to not analyze these situations, I don't know.

I'm thinking, that even if she were into this other guy, if I had shown her a good enough time, she wouldn't be feeling guilty, she'd be excited to see me again and want to fuck my brains out. So somewhere along the line I fucked up and I'm not sure where. Maybe not fucking her?

I don't even like that I'm thinking about this, I know I'm pissed at myself for not fucking her. I know that my ego doesn't like that I had her all into it Friday night and then Saturday night she wanted nothing to do with me.

So could it legitimately be that she felt so guilty? Or was it more likely something else? Is it even useful at all to think about situations like this in order to learn?

It would seem I should just take the guilt thing at face value and not think about it again. But I feel like being armed with this knowledge, it makes me examine and analyze...