Thanks to everybody here and on asktrp for talking about stuff.

I was once so quiet and reserved that I would never talk about women with guy friends for fear of whatever kind of gossip coming back around to me in a bad way and also blue-pill ideas about relationship dynamics and things like "objectifying women."

Recently I realized I was really doing it, having a normal fun conversation and cracking jokes about women. Seriously, though, it used to be that I would basically be scared to admit I thought a woman was attractive or talk about "who would you rather" type things when it was all basically just talk for wasting time.

This got me thinking about all the vocabulary and terminology in the "manosphere" and I sort of realized how drastically different my frame is, albeit still far from where I would like to be. After having such a deeply ingrained vision for what I wanted, and how I wanted to get it, I was relieved in a way to let go of some of the more childish belief systems. In retrospect, it is really crazy to see how a guy can basically sabotage himself by mentally processing every interaction in a blue-pill way.

It has taken me quite some time to really improve actual results, but after failing miserably so many times I can be fairly confident approaching women I have never met before. I've always been pretty good at making people laugh and being friendly, but I was so frustrated by not getting what I wanted and seeing other guys be closer. Jealously and bitterness towards otherwise good people (well not all of them but hey) was something I knew I didn't want, but I found myself sort of going through the motions of thosr negative feelings anyway.

Still, I have pretty negative feelings about society in general and contemporary dating. Maybe that's OK. Maybe things are starting to turn around by and large. Hopefully people will stop spreading weird feminist ideals once they understand that the number one indicator of poverty is single motherhood.

Philosophy has always been an interesting subject for me to consider. Recently it also dawned on me that politics in general is all philosophy, but for the commoners of the world it is more like a mind-trap. If a person is truly passionate there are many things they can do to make the world a better place. I would hesitate to say that politics is one of them. Don't get me wrong, I like Trump. But the reality is that even if you are right or wrong or don't care what people think about you or if you're seeking approval from peers - it's an entirely different frame than an individual thinking about personal philosophy, values, morals etc.. They may be closely related, but I really think it is like a mind trap or at least a huge distraction. Though, occasionally there are important things to vote on lest a bunch of morons strip away more and more rights. The reality seems like most politicians could retire without the need for having a replacement. Anyway.

So many people on TV go nuts over things that really don't affect them at all. Then people emulate their behaviour. It's ridiculous. And for me, as an individual "red pill philosopher" being able to shut the TV off and not worry about any of it is crucial for me to find my frame. Even if it's something good happening for my own political opinion, I feel like somehow certain rhetoric is internalized on some level and essentially serves no purpose for common people to act in a community. So now we're taxing this, not taxing that, can't do this, can do that. Sorry for droning on about this, but I always enjoyed the political philosophizing and trying to understand both sides objectively, and in my experience I've not met women who share that interest and for me it's a huge distraction. Not only that, but after trying to understand both sides I feel like I can get away with cracking a joke here or there and some people get offended.

That's why it's a trap really, is because there's usually more than two sides to complex issues and in casual conversation or flirting it's better to keep things light and nebulous at first. But still I feel there is something more dastardly about contemplating politics, imagining yourself as leader of the free world or being part of some "movement" that will go down in history. It's like having your own dreams and aspirations hijacked because instead of think about how to get what you want, you just stare at a TV screen and decide what you think the lesser of two evils are.