So I was dating a black girl in some North country, proabably one of the hottest women I have ever seen in my life and that is the problem.

I got ghosted by her apprently I wasnt man enough that she went with some other dude or 3 or 9 or 10000 who the f knows? It is very difficult to have abundance mindset when you mess up with your perfect ten(physically speaking though she is very charming, seductive voice, good singer but also has lots of red flags to be fair so do I),

Now I'm grateful that she ghosted me before we have had sex or relationship so it will be the lesser of the pain. The problem is that before I met her I saw lots of women to be atleast attractive and even if I got friendzoned or a woman telling me she isnt intersted, it would bother me but I always knew I can do better.

Now when this girls came somewhere from Africa and she has her unique beautiful smell, epic body(thicc done correctly), gorgeous breasts(I am a teddies man), epic lips, epic dance moves, epic butt, epic dressing style, superb kisser(We did kiss alot, I played with her breasts, epic lap dance etc...) physically the woman is really my type and I dont know how to get over her, there are no women where I live that can compete with that, it is very difficult to have abundance mindset when every woman just cant compete with this....She told me she knew she is hot only when she came to Finland, she told me men find her attrative because of her big boobs and big ass etc...) but she also said she doesnt want to know she is attractive(Which in my opinion is a bit of a lie really), and I wouldnt lie to you if I told you that I think even some straight women where I live find her attractive let a lone the men that lives here.

Anyways the story is long and there are many details to it but I am unable to have abundance mentality because I have not seen so far a woman as attractive as her and I have to deal with lots of insecuties.

THe other things is that there is an ego part in it, like why am not good enough, why do I get ghosted for another fuking kuntish man...I am tired of fuking up but apparently most of redpillers went through this.

It is very difficult to get over someone when there are less options, not sometimes ALOT OF TIMES; second bests are actually better, so other attractive women would do just fine if not even better but I am having a hard time getting over her simply because she is literally my type black with epic natural breasts, and sexy ass. Also ego is involved like she picking other men over me. I told her if I am not the most attractive man to her, she shouldnt bother to contact me and she did, just to ghost me, a friend told me she probably felt rejected by you(I am ready to take responsibility fully on me and I want to take FULL RESPONSIBILITY) but because of that I am angry at myself.

Q1: How to have abundance mindset when I feel so far she is the most attracitve in my small town atleast

Q2: How to get over the ego thing where I always lose a woman I like to some other (kunt) Sorry

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PS: I am aware that I am being beta andweak thus explains my anger.